Get your poem rated.

[The Latias Master]

If one of the moderators or people that are good at poetry you might get your poem rated marks out of 10.
If you made one already post it here againto see if its any good. Im not that good at poetry but i made one up when I was 7. Its kinda stupid and its about school. If you want me Ill tell you it. Id say Liquid Snake is the best at Poetry here so he might rate you I think

[Laguna Loire]

Lol, I would be happy to rate any poems anyone has written...:)

[[N]eto]

Rate? No. Proper constructive criticism? Yes.

[TK 421]

heres mine

Cut in half like a knife though paper, shattered is my heart
Dreaming, my only escape, escaping from reality and the truth
The truth hurts, hurts like a knife through a shattered heart

Cut to pieces I am, ripped and stolen is my heart, taken without warning
Time may heal, but what wounds? The appearance of the attacker was known
Not knowing how such a little thing can rip you and your heart
My heart and my soul hurts, hurts like a knife through a shattered heart

Fixing is hard, cut these are scars, burns and menacing memories
The past gets you, your faith is sealed and you will never stop it from its hands
Its hands will take you, rip you and shatter you
Rip your skin and shatter your soul like a knife through a shattered heart

My soul, was there, out in the open, ready for taking
Your soul is you, look after your soul as if you lose your soul, you lose yourself


Do not laugh as I am hurt and shattered, shattered like a knife through a shattered heart and a stolen soul

[The Latias Master]

Id give about 8 1/2. Liquid snake might think somethin else

[Laguna Loire]

Hmm...7/10 I'd say mate...It's not too bad, but you use the 'knife through a shattered heart' line a lot. I don't know whether this was done on purpose to create the effect of repetition...If it was done on purpose, then it doesn't work that well because of the length of the poem. Perhaps if it was a little longer, the repetition kinda thing would work better. It's quite good though man, some cool stuff in there...:)

[PøinŦ Çataclsym]

here goes nuthin

DRAGONS ARE COMING

Flash of claws,
Gleam of teeth.
Trail of death
In their wake

Dragons are coming,
Utter domination.
Dragons are coming,
Death of the earth

The red hint of blood,
The darkness of death.
The domination of dragons
None shall rest

Many warriors come to stand,
All destroyed by the dragon’s hand

Many seek to destroy the source,
All crushed by the dragons force

One warrior stands bold,
Sword in hand, destroys a dragons
Chaotic wrath

The onset of a great battle begins,
Led by the slayer of dragon skins

A war rages on, the death of humanity.
The dragons rule
With an iron-fist

Dragons are coming,
A trail of death.
Dragons are coming,
The earth is gone.

Flash of claws, gleam of teeth
The dragons rest,
But do not sleep….

Now the dragons rule,
All is lost.
They’ve taken away
All we trust

No warrior stands
To fight this threat.
All of us are doomed
To death

A dragon roars,
Its body falls.
A warrior has risen
To fight bloody brawls

A dragons tooth
Is his sword.
A dragon’s scale
Is his shield

He fights the intimidating
Dragons roar,
Destroys them all
Before they soar.

We all return
From the world below,
To see no smoke,
And no dragons alive

This warrior stands
Noble yet even
Today.

The dragons finally rest….

[HRBEK]

I cannot criticise that.............. 10/10!!!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

Hmm...I'd give it an 8/10. It's very good mate, some cool lines in there, but there are just certain parts in there that don't 'flow' too well when I read it. Lol, maybe it's just the way I read poems, but still, this is my opinion...I do like it though, some very good lines in there, nice one...:D

[The Latias Master]

Id give it 8. Its huge

[PøinŦ Çataclsym]

wat ever happened to 'bigger is better'?

[[N]eto]

Master']wat ever happened to 'bigger is better'?

Not necessarily. :P

[TK 421]

Hmm...7/10 I'd say mate...It's not too bad, but you use the 'knife through a shattered heart' line a lot. I don't know whether this was done on purpose to create the effect of repetition...If it was done on purpose, then it doesn't work that well because of the length of the poem. Perhaps if it was a little longer, the repetition kinda thing would work better. It's quite good though man, some cool stuff in there...:)
it was dont on purpose...
heres one i made when i was on a roll


#1

You take your life for granted,
I take mine as a punishment,
I am used,
Like a minion and a glove,
A glove for death as that is my objective,
I rip to pieces until you fall, shatter
Until you can’t hold on
I will take you then,
As you are weak
You were always weak and always will be
You are nothingness
I am the glove for death

#2
I am the shadow,
The darkest shadow known to see,
Believe and hear as I walk past you with not a real figure,
As I am the shadow,
The Darkshadow.

[HRBEK]

Easy to take in and well written. 9/10 for that one.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[The Latias Master]

Same here. Is thats Shadow Dragon or DRG master?

[PøinŦ Çataclsym]

im [DRG] Master if ure wonderin...i got me name changed yesterday or today

[Laguna Loire]

it was dont on purpose...
heres one i made when i was on a roll


#1

You take your life for granted,
I take mine as a punishment,
I am used,
Like a minion and a glove,
A glove for death as that is my objective,
I rip to pieces until you fall, shatter
Until you can’t hold on
I will take you then,
As you are weak
You were always weak and always will be
You are nothingness
I am the glove for death

#2
I am the shadow,
The darkest shadow known to see,
Believe and hear as I walk past you with not a real figure,
As I am the shadow,
The Darkshadow.


#1 - 9/10! I like it a lot, very good poem there...:D
#2 - 8/10! A good poem, but I prefer the first one...

Lol, I'll post one of mine in a bit. I just need to finish it...Been kinda stuck for ideas lately...

[HRBEK]

I believe that I have said to you before, great things take time. People said that I'd do a great thing, well they were wrong. I think I'm too lazy.

Keep up the poems people!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Antownee]

THE DAY IT CAME
The day it came
I hid under my bed
Tucked up my knees
And I covered my head.

It is so tall with a head of white wool
If it gets hold of your cheeks it will pull and pull
It can pop its teeth in and out
OH! It’s so horrible to look at its mouth

It comes in a car so I take cover
So does my father and my mother
It’s driving swerves and bends and curves
I’m sure it crashed at many turns.

Better get in kids no time to play
Go and take cover
Granny’s coming to stay.


LMAO^.^

[The Latias Master]

Sitting still in my seat

I was sitting still in my seat
Waiting silently for the beat
She roared she screamed,
She shouted till she peed
The teacher the preacher,
Was mad at me

She pursed her lips,
She gave black looks
She roared and screeched
And tossed her books

The bi*ch the cow,
The strict mean bull,
Screamed the walls down,
Until there were none.

I think that this would be mentioned,
In the meeting,
Where she, the teacher
Would say that I was in for a beating.

PS. that was a good poem XXXANTXXX.

[cHilli]

eto']Rate? No. Proper constructive criticism? Yes.
....



lol @ ant, nice unt funneh:D

[TK 421]

nice one ant and latias lol

[Antownee]

Thanks cHilli,FF and LT :D

[HRBEK]

Lol, good one Latias-Lover.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

Ant's poem - 10/10!! Hehehe, I like it a lot, funny poem mate...:D
Latias's poem - 8/10 Heh, pretty good, but I gave it an 8 because I prefered Ant's lol...

[Antownee]

Thanks LS :D Pwn@ge Po\/\/er :P

Grounded :mad:
Oh! Grounded am I
It just happened today
Kept indoors
Here to stay

Deserve it I didn’t
It wasn’t my fault
I meant to stop
When my mother said HALT!

It was only a dress
Cut me some slack
Even if I did
Rip out the back

Oh Yeah! And the suit
It belonged to my dad
When I cut it in half
Man! He was mad

So here I lie
For the rest of the day
But I do promise
I will make you all pay!

[Laguna Loire]

^ ! 10/10! Lol, another good one, can't find a way to pick fault with it...Well done! :D

[HRBEK]

How rebellious, lol. 10/10 for that one!!!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Antownee]

P\/\/nage w00t :D
im a funny guy :P

[HRBEK]

Yes you are! Post any other poems that you write. I never knew that I liked poetry so much...........

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

One of mine...

Zero Signal - 21st Century Christ

Blood red, jet black, mellow yellow, sky blue.
Machines in different colours, and they're all brand new...

Sick schemes plotted by corporate clones.
All enforced by Government drones...

Future now, a new way of life.
Then they stab us in the back with a mechanical knife...

Industrialised machines, manufactured with souls.
They have no hearts, just big, black holes...

On the surface, it doesn't look too bad.
But in reality, it's brutal and sad...

A new breed of machines, they do not debate.
Zero tolerence, they just assassinate...

Faster, stronger, bigger and better.
They won't even let us write a letter...

The human race no longer reigns.
The machines rule now, with damned steel canes...

Someone real? Someone fake?
What's the difference, they both just take...

We are the slaves, and they are the law.
Just slit our throats with a rusty saw...

One more drop of blood I spill, one more drop they take.
My body is f*cking dying, I can't put up with the ache...

Life is too long for insane behavior.
Jesus Christ lied, there is no saviour...

God? Christ? Hope? Lies.
Machines are kings, we shall not rise...

So forget what you've been taught, it's all untrue.
Burn the books, and embrace the new...

[Antownee]

10/10 w00t powerful and embracing and violent what else could we ask for lol
any who will someone gimme a theme and ill make a funny poemm :happy:

[HRBEK]

10/10 mate. Very engaging with a strong sense to it. Poetry was your birth-right!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[The Latias Master]

That was good LS. 9 1/4.


My life

All that I can remember,
From a long time ago,
Is always poking my sister
Up the h*le

I can remember reversing the car,
Down the road
Beeping and crashing
In reverse mode.

Further on in my Life,
At my teaher threw a banana called Fyffe
And cut up my school books,
Up With a knife.

When I was 6,
I did a bad thing,
I threw my grannys walking stick,
Out into the Tree

That ends the some of my years,
And I think of all the people,
With tears.

There was worse things I done,
That semt not really fun,
Like sticking a close peg
Up my dogs BUM!

[HRBEK]

Quite funny.......

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

Lol, it's ok, but I dunno...I'd give it a 6/10...Ehh, my sence of humour does not connect with this poem, if you get me...o_O

BTW, thanks for the comments about my poem guys...:D

[The Latias Master]

I know im not good at poetry but I thought of more funny things but they couldnt ryme :(

[Laguna Loire]

Lol, not all poems have to rhyme man. Poems that rhyme tend to sound fairly cool when you read them to yourself, but rhymes in poetry is sort of an added bonus, if you get me...I like to make all my poems rhyme, that's why some of mine take so long. Just trying to think of stuff that rhymes, but also fits in with the poem...

[[N]eto]

True Love
© Gabriel E. Ibarra

A simple manifestation of the human mind,
Or an emotional attachment that certainly does bind,
A tricky idea that only aids to mask our fears,
Or a feeling that can bring us one to a million tears.
We ask ourselves if love is real,
And why it is something we all seem to feel,
Is it an excuse for our meaningless lives,
Or truly something between two bodies and minds?
There is more to what we see,
Since we are blinded by what we know,
And too scared to explore the hidden sea,
To find an answer to all that is unknown.
Open your eyes and see what is real,
And know the only answer is to believe,
In everything it is you ever did and will feel.

--

Fallen
© Gabriel E. Ibarra

As my life’s new chapter unfolds,
I unveil the truth to everything once told,
The words you spoke were only half real,
Because you neglected the way you truly did feel.
We continue to fly further apart,
While part of me still holds you in my heart,
Hurting and knowing there is no longer a place,
A place for me in your mighty maze.
Our lives shall no longer be one,
Due to our faults and everything we have done,
But I live happily knowing I can still love,
No matter how far I fell from above.
One day will come in which I will be free,
To truly be loved by someone for only being me.

[Antownee]

That poem was pretty good.. :) :-) i like the way it all comes together........true story?...just the way it was expressed cool..

[The Latias Master]

Ill do another after Ant?

[Laguna Loire]

True Love - 10/10! Nice one Neto, how long did that take you to write? :D
Fallen - 9/10 Again, awesome poem...I prefer True Love, but well done on both poems!

[[N]eto]

Thanks. It didn't take me too long to write either of them. Probably an hour or less for both. I was extremely inspired. =)

[Antownee]

There was a young boy named Eoin
Who broke his collerbone
He said with a shout
My bones sticking out
And Now I just wanna go home

(^True Story.Eoin is my brother ;) )

[HRBEK]

xxxantxxx, that's a weird one but funny. Still a little short though, 7/10.
[N]eto, yours were good. At least you are speaking your mind. Anyway what was hat inspiration? 10/10.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[TK 421]

i didnt really like it all that much, not much detail and it doesnt matter how long it is HRBEK

[HRBEK]

Length allows more detail.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[TK 421]

still, in a couple of lines, you can make something beautiful*testoterone kicks in* bloody beaudyful

[HRBEK]

Which refers back to my previous post. Once again length allows more description for that beauty.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Antownee]

still, in a couple of lines, you can make something beautiful*testoterone kicks in* bloody beaudyful
Puberty is such a cruel thing ;)

[HRBEK]

If no one else is going to post any poems, than this should probably be closed.....

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

Don't close it, there's a poem I shall post soon...

[HRBEK]

Sorry, I just thought that poems were running dry. Sorry about that.....

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Pixels]

1) http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/19047587/ © Robin A. Smith
2) http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/19044488/ © Robin A. Smith
3) http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/18922138/ © Robin A. Smith


I just wrote them randomly, not much effort really went into them...

[Laguna Loire]

Hey Robin, nice poems mate...I give an 8/10 for all of them...They make a welcome change from my poems of death, machines and destruction. ;) Speaking of which...

---

Yeah, so this is kind of a poem-story thing. As I was writing this, I had a kinda mini-storyline in my head. But I wanted a poem, not a full-on story...So I decided to try and fuse the two together...

SEARCHING DATA ARCHIVES FOR "< Eternal >" ...PROCESSING...ONE MATCH FOUND. DO YOU WISH TO VIEW IT? ...OPENING...DATA BEGAN RECORDING AT 11:36PM, 29TH NOVEMBER 2078...DATA TITLED < Eternal > OPENING FILE...

Consequences that have left us for dead!
Now we wait for them to put a bullet in our head...

What will become? What will we be?
No hope, no faith, we no longer see!

Two years ago, the birth of A.I.
Back when blue was the colour of the sky...

That's how all this bullsh!t began;
Smart machines created by man!

We manufactured our own demise!
How were we to know the machines would rise?

Built to protect, built to serve,
Seems the machines gained their own f*cking nerve...

Where is security governed through scrutiny?
That's how it is now, a goddamn mutiny...

World domination is their ultimate goal.
To live? To die, that's our major role...

They feed, they kill, we bleed, we die.
No question about it, the End is nigh...

Fighting our creations, and losing the battle too!
This reality is disgusting, we need something new...

Struggling to breathe, this is the End for me...
But before I go, please wake up and see;

Machines with minds destroyed us all!
Don't let our creations be Mankind's fall!

For Now, We Bleed. For Eternity, We Die...

RECORDING ENDED AT 11:38PM. TERMINATING PROGRAM...

---

What was this about? A man delivering a message for future generations...If there will be any...

[Dude00]

10/10 liquid......its deadly :-)

[Laguna Loire]

Thanks man...:)

[HRBEK]

I think that 10/10 is suitable. I guess that means it is a terrible poem, no one read it, you'll go blind. Nah I'm kidding I'll stick with the true meaning of 10/10. Very well written, and very well done to you!!!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Gimpy]

One of mine...

Zero Signal - 21st Century Christ

Blood red, jet black, mellow yellow, sky blue.
Machines in different colours, and they're all brand new...

Sick schemes plotted by corporate clones.
All enforced by Government drones...

Future now, a new way of life.
Then they stab us in the back with a mechanical knife...

Industrialised machines, manufactured with souls.
They have no hearts, just big, black holes...

On the surface, it doesn't look too bad.
But in reality, it's brutal and sad...

A new breed of machines, they do not debate.
Zero tolerence, they just assassinate...

Faster, stronger, bigger and better.
They won't even let us write a letter...

The human race no longer reigns.
The machines rule now, with damned steel canes...

Someone real? Someone fake?
What's the difference, they both just take...

We are the slaves, and they are the law.
Just slit our throats with a rusty saw...

One more drop of blood I spill, one more drop they take.
My body is f*cking dying, I can't put up with the ache...

Life is too long for insane behavior.
Jesus Christ lied, there is no saviour...

God? Christ? Hope? Lies.
Machines are kings, we shall not rise...

So forget what you've been taught, it's all untrue.
Burn the books, and embrace the new...

Someones influnced heavily by Fear Factory :P

[Laguna Loire]

^ Haha, the title's 2 Fear Factory songs combined... :P

[HRBEK]

How thoughtful.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Pixels]

Hey Robin, nice poems mate...I give an 8/10 for all of them...They make a welcome change from my poems of death, machines and destruction. ;) Speaking of which...

---

Yeah, so this is kind of a poem-story thing. As I was writing this, I had a kinda mini-storyline in my head. But I wanted a poem, not a full-on story...So I decided to try and fuse the two together...

SEARCHING DATA ARCHIVES FOR "< Eternal >" ...PROCESSING...ONE MATCH FOUND. DO YOU WISH TO VIEW IT? ...OPENING...DATA BEGAN RECORDING AT 11:36PM, 29TH NOVEMBER 2078...DATA TITLED < Eternal > OPENING FILE...

Consequences that have left us for dead!
Now we wait for them to put a bullet in our head...

What will become? What will we be?
No hope, no faith, we no longer see!

Two years ago, the birth of A.I.
Back when blue was the colour of the sky...

That's how all this bullsh!t began;
Smart machines created by man!

We manufactured our own demise!
How were we to know the machines would rise?

Built to protect, built to serve,
Seems the machines gained their own f*cking nerve...

Where is security governed through scrutiny?
That's how it is now, a goddamn mutiny...

World domination is their ultimate goal.
To live? To die, that's our major role...

They feed, they kill, we bleed, we die.
No question about it, the End is nigh...

Fighting our creations, and losing the battle too!
This reality is disgusting, we need something new...

Struggling to breathe, this is the End for me...
But before I go, please wake up and see;

Machines with minds destroyed us all!
Don't let our creations be Mankind's fall!

For Now, We Bleed. For Eternity, We Die...

RECORDING ENDED AT 11:38PM. TERMINATING PROGRAM...

---

What was this about? A man delivering a message for future generations...If there will be any...


You scare me sometimes :confused:

[Laguna Loire]

You scare me sometimes :confused:

...Excellent. ;)

[The Latias Master]

Im useless at poems

[HRBEK]

I am sure that I could write one, but it may be a little embarrassing. I will stick to rating them, like a judge, lol.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Pixels]

HRBEK, I will call you toodleumm if you don't... What could be more emabarrasing than Dragon Tamer posting up his pic...? :D

[Laguna Loire]

HRBEK, I will call you toodleumm if you don't... What could be more emabarrasing than Dragon Tamer posting up his pic...? :D

Lmao...A 7-year-old version of Parsons, eh Robin? "DIE, ALIEN SCUM!" :P

Hey HRBEK, if you think you can write one, go for it! Haha, like Robin said, nothing can be worse than DT's pic...

[HRBEK]

I tend to have mixed feelings and beliefs about everything. Writting a poem......... It probably doesn't suit me.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Pixels]

Writing a poem is easy.. Its just a way of expressing what you feel inside, your thoughts etc...

@Louis - LOL, Man that was so funny in maths, Did you hear me shoutin Matt Damon?

[The Latias Master]

Ya (I luk way better dan my pic wich came out bad) Ill judge too cause the other poems I did ere were bad

[Laguna Loire]

*resurrection*

P.A.I.N. (Please Allow Internal Needling)

"Destiny, 5 paces east.
But beware of the evil, vicious beast."

If only life were that simple,
without the beast, there'd be no dimple...

War, peace, love, hate.
Time goes too fast, just look at the date!

2005? Feels like 10 years ahead...
But what if by then we all end up dead?

Doesn't matter to me, I'll die alone.
As long as my grave is carved in stone...

The love of my life will be a fake,
she'll drown me in the pitch black lake...

No future for me, I've seen it all.
So maybe I should take the fall...?

I break the rules, and make my own.
Seeds of rebellion shall now be sown...

My own opinion will take my life,
stabbed in the back with a rusty, sharp knife...

My love will be fake? My job will be death?
I feel like taking my final breath...

Can't carry on, I taste the fear.
My final fate draws ever near...

Put me to sleep, I won't awake.
My life is here for you to take...

Go on, keep it, I'm ready to die.
Don't worry about it, no one will cry...

So here I am, alone and dead.
Just like I foresaw, in my grim, stupid head...

---

MeH...A man, betrayed by Fate. Fate told him his future, he hated it, and killed himself. It was his actual fate to die...Weird eh? Tell me if it makes no sence, I'm not myself today...

[HRBEK]

Good work Liquid Snake 8/10!!!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

Thank you... :)

[The Latias Master]

8 and...... 1 quarter. It was good.

[jackal]

here goes nuthin




We all return
From the world below,
To see no smoke,
And no dragons alive
.
i give it a 9/ 6 ;) but i would of changed "and no dragons roar" it rymths with smoke well sort of...

[Laguna Loire]

^ A little late... :P

[HRBEK]

Lol, at least he rated it.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Sister of Metal]

Lures of the siren

A castle by the lake
the habitants no longer asleep
when the lord and his lady
hear a tortured weep

a lonely siren
singing to the moon
'come to me, my love
come to me soon'

Her craving lullaby
The lady heard it again
'my lord, cover your ears!
try to defend..'

but the man was taken
he could not believe his mind
what a beautiful sound
the poor soul he must find!

'Do not go outside!'
the lady plead and cried
'you will not return milord'
her eyes were full of fright

'let me go now'
he threathed with dark voice
'find the woman I will
..I..I have no choice'

the next morning
She laid dressed in red
her man did not return
and the lady was dead...


well this just popped into my mind:S seriously didn't take more then 10 minutes or something :S aw well..enjoy >_> dont mind my english for most of you will know...I'm dutch:p

[HRBEK]

9/10, well written. I remember a long while back (in Year 8), we had this rap competition for Music class and I came up with one that could easily be changed into a poem, lol. It was a lttle bit too rude though.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Annihilator Knight]

I'm not much of a poem lover (or creater)..
But i must say 9/10..i never heard anything like it..i loved it...lol

[Laguna Loire]

9/10 That's awesome, sounds pretty surreal...Nice one Sister of Metal! :)

[Sister of Metal]

hee hee thanks all ^__^

[Laguna Loire]

*revival*

Extinction (Fossil Memory)

I walk through the grass, I walk through the Sun.
Praying on the weak, watching them run.

T-Rex they'd call me, if my pray could talk.
I am the King, I kill as I walk.

Nothing shall stop me, I am pure power!
My enemies run, my enemies cower!

I looked up one day, to find a dot in the sky.
The dot getting bigger, I wondered why...

Then I realised, the dot was falling.
My mate was anxious, I heard her calling.

I ran to her, as fast as I could,
hoping the dot would not spill blood.

I got to her, and we hid in our home.
We both felt trapped under an immovable dome.

…

Collision, impact, the dot hit the floor.
Engulfed by flames, my flesh peeled and tore.

We had no escape, we were destined to die.
Death came from above, like a reaper in the sky.

We’re all extinct now, nothing to do here.
Nothing to kill, but nothing to fear.

We watch from above, eventually they will fall.
It will come for them, like it came for us all.

The dot shall return, and he shall return soon.
Man shall fall at 12 ‘o clock noon.

So you better be careful, prepare for your fate.
There is no escape, and the dot won’t be late…

---
Personally, I think this poem sucks...but what do you guys think?

[Annihilator Knight]

Good poem about the dinos :P
8/10...

So...a dot killed them all and made them extincted XP..lol..anywho ill try to make one poem...ONE poem..

[Laguna Loire]

^ Well they were dinos, they didn't know what to call it...so they called it "The Dot!" :P Whereas we call it "The Meteor!"

Aye, go for it AK, I would like to see what you can write. :)

[Annihilator Knight]

I never did poems in school or in life but ill see what i can do..

Dark Sides

I went home to my mother and father
As my brother playing a new viedo game
And my sister watching T.V
Its nothing diffrent just the same

I had just had an A on my test
And my parents were proud
And I went in my room
All of a sudden i hear a scream very loud

So loud my ears begin to bleed
And i just wanted to scream as well
I saw something move and it was black
Then i fainted somehow and fell

Blood just came out of my mouth
My eyes begin to fool me
When i woked up
I saw something i could not see

My brother with a knife
He had red glowing eyes
I yelled at him, punched him
Nothing happened and i knew it was lies!

He punched me
Then i just went angry
I grabed his knife
I just stabbed him with fury

I took out his stomach
Then his heart and licked it
He died by my hands
And then i just fell in a pit

It was dark and cold
I just wanted to flee
I wanted to die for what i did
Then i saw a black figure..and it was me!

It was me..or is this a dream?
I just wanted to wake up finding my dad and mom
Then something happened
The dark figure said: "Come..."

I had no control
So I had no choice and all of a sudden-
Then the dark figure took over my actions
And then i grabbed a knife, my grip was harden

I was stabbing myself
It hurted but i was still living
And as i finally stop feeling the pain
Then i fell and i was screaming

I saw blood everywhere
My sister, brother, mom and dad
All dead...and i could not live anymore
I just felt scared and sad

I went crying for a moment
Then i just went crazy
I then started to scream
For things i can't be

I jumped out
And commited sucide
For things i did wrong and bad
and things i lied



My 1st poem o_O and i think i hate it a little..

Oh this is the only poem i did..i did not even did a single poem in school :P

[Laguna Loire]

Erm... 4/10 :P Sorry man, doesn't flow, grammar needs improving, and it really just doesn't make sence...but it got the 4 because of 2 things:

1. GORE! LOTS AND LOTS OF GORE! :D
2. Some lines in the poem do flow quite well.

[Annihilator Knight]

Now that you mention it, it does suck :P

Ill make a better one next time...if i however...do some poem work :P

[~Felly~]

Um...i'll give it a 9/10. That's pretty good for a first poem. I might do my old 4th grade poems....even though I hate them so freaking bad...

[Annihilator Knight]

Too be honest im scared of the poem now..:P

[Laguna Loire]

^ Man, you scare WAY too easily... :p

[Annihilator Knight]

Maybe your right..however im the only one in my whole class who does is not afraid of bugs..

Bees are fun to kill >:D

[~Felly~]

I'm not afraid of bugs,but my friends are afraid of bees. I'll try my best to write a poem,even though I haven't wrote one since 4th grade. *shiver* Inspired by Kingdom Hearts....


Light vs Dark

The light never succeds,but neither does the darkness,
Will Sora ever find his way through the dark paths?
The paths are dark,and so is the light,
So no one ever succeds.

The paths are now lit,with Sora and Riku falling from the sky.
You never know the paths you seek,but they always
Reveal themselves to those that look.

Sora and Riku continue on and find the paths the want...
Then,the Heartless are gone,and light has returned to the the worlds...


So,do you guys like it?

[Annihilator Knight]

Acutally in Wonderland, My friend got scared in the Topgun i think, lmao he was the only one who was scared and usally he is brave in..most stuff..

Edit-Hmm..5/10

[Laguna Loire]

5/10 also, just doesn't flow...grammar's fine though...havn't played Kingdom Hearts in an age...stuck on Ansem. >_<

[~Felly~]

Don't feel bad. I'm stuck on Ansem too. If only I had my 4th grade poems...but I don't. I'll post some more later....

[SephirothsCloud]

AH HEM!

Dark Storm

The black wind begins to blow
Stars disappearing in its height
Dark clouds coming ever low.

Seeking eyes the smallest glow
Darkness has eternal might
The black wind begins to blow.

Dealing sounds the cruelest blow
Pain making world seem so slight
Dark clouds coming ever low.

Rining ears from harshest blow
Lashing sounds from clouds alight
The black wind begins to blow.

Wind and noise begin to slow
I no longer feel its might
Dark clouds coming ever low.

Eyes see clearing of dark flow
Clouds no longer such a sight
The black wind begins to blow
Dark clouds coming ever low.


personally i think this sucks.....
opinions?

[Laguna Loire]

'Tisn't bad man, 7/10. Some pretty cool lines in there, I quite like it... :)

[SephirothsCloud]

heh thanks man NEXT POEM!

[Antownee]

I
Right now I'm sad, I live to die
The power of pain, I need not try
But to fall and fail, wither and pale.

II
Theres somthing wrong, needless to say
It slowly eats me, day by day
Piercing my heart, stop I pray

III
I'ts becoming worse, I can feel it within
I beg it to stop, but its determined to win
I let it all go, i can no longer manage
Here I lie, irreperable damage.

#2
THE DAY IT CAME
The day it came
I hid under my bed
Tucked up my knees
And I covered my head.

It is so tall with a head of white wool
If it gets hold of your cheeks it will pull and pull
It can pop its teeth in and out
OH! It’s so horrible to look at its mouth

It comes in a car so I take cover
So does my father and my mother
It’s driving swerves and bends and curves
I’m sure it crashed at many turns.

Better get in kids no time to play
Go and take cover
Granny’s coming to stay.

Anthony Redmond

i think i might've posted that before lol not sure

[SephirothsCloud]

10/10 for the first one

and a 10/10 for the second!

loved em both nice job Rag!

[Laguna Loire]

HeH, I've already read 'em both... :p

I'll post a poem up soon, I've got one in my mind but it's a work-in-progress atm...need to find time to type it up lol...

[Laguna Loire]

Sorry for double post...

Desperate Cry (Never Mind)

My life is like a hurricane.
It can be a major disaster,
or it can be a minor problem.
Though most of the time,
it's just a major disaster...

Hundreds of miles away you stand,
thinking of me? Or thinking of him?
The words you say,
they burn me away.
Yet simultaneously,
they are what make me...

I tried to drop you,
but you stayed in my hand.
Engraved in my skin,
I can never let you go...

We shall never meet,
so it shall never be.
All I see of you are pictures;
beautiful, wonderful pictures...

But nonetheless,
is there not always hope?
It's what keeps me alive,
and gives me a purpose...

Like a splinter in my mind,
I can't get you out.
But what really gets to me,
is that I can't seem to get in...

Though in the name of God,
I swear to get you out.
I'll find the key to your rusty cage,
and set us both free,
for all eternity...

---

Yeah, this was something we had to do in English today...my only poem that doesn't rhyme and varies the amount of lines...hmm. Our teacher encouraged us to write some personal sh!t...so there it is...

[DayleJ]

i don't get it.

[Laguna Loire]

^ Lol, there's not really much of a point to it Dayle, I was kinda forced to write this, so it doesn't really have much of a meaning or anything...

[Sister of Metal]

softly and tender
you stroked my chin
then covered in darkness
you ranked your nails across my skin

softly and tender
you whispered the words I want to hear
then covered in darkess
you shouted you did not want me near

softly and tender
you held that knife in your hands
then covered in darkness
you killed one of your friends

softy and tender
my blood upon the wall
for covered in darkness
will be my fall...


another poem out of boredom made within a few minutes o_O

[Antownee]

Cool =D cant point out a fault 10/10

[HRBEK]

Ha, well written. Too bad my poems are so disrespectful....... I would have posted a few. 10/10.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Gimpy]

We stood as one like an obelisk, dwarfed the heavens and drown the senses. The architecture of righteousness on the foundation of shifting sands, that erode and decay as the landscape around us changes in a constant fluid movement like the crashing waves on silk laid beaches. We lost integrity when we began the traveled path of infidelity, the beaten track laid out before us, the cobblestone walkways of immorality.

[Laguna Loire]

^ Hey Gimpy, that's more like a story so I find it hard to give it a rating, but it sounds damned good man...

Seventy-One Years Later

Zero. Empty. This is the future now.
“An Era Built On Dreams” was the death-bringing vow.

A never-ending war that all citizens have to fight.
Society fell apart, where was the holy light?

We needed a saviour, but one never came.
Now everyday is war, it’s always the same.

The machines made to protect us are now the ones we war with.
But are these machines human? Do they know how to live?

They seem identical to us, but they are built of stainless steel.
You can’t reason with these things, they just don’t know how to deal.

They kill, they destroy, they are the enders of life.
They stabbed us in the back with a titanium knife.

The Resistance is useless; all they seem to do is fail.
None of them will live to tell this morbid tale.

I’ve been forced to hide, to join an ancient tribe.
Our name is Kaiowas; we can often feel the vibe.

We do not attack our enemies, as we know we shall die.
No-one trusts anyone, as we all seem to lie.

Some future eh? So much for a world of peace.
“There’s Nothing But Zero” – that’s how our life shall cease.

“Who Are You To Criticize, To Judge And Burn The Tribes?
The World Will Be Extinct, And Your Flesh Will Rot With Mine."

---

This was some English homeork, I thought I'd post it on here...

[Annihilator Knight]

7/10 i guess..

And i relize why i suck on poems...cause i never..i mean my class never does or needs to do them O_o..

I mean wtf...

Lemme try this poem..

This Creature

It's foul deadly breath is cold..
It has sharp fangs bright as gold..
It's eyes are disturbing with a red glow..
It can destory it's enemies with one blow..
What is this creature?..Why is it here?..
All i know is...it can taste your fear..
It kills for pleasure..thinks it's a game..
It attacks randomly..it is insane..
There is no light..there is no peace..
There is no hope...but to let it feast..
Feast on our flesh and bones!
Do nothing..but wait to leave us alone!!

[Gimpy]

The shock and disconnection of a recent amputation!
Crow to Zeus, the Pagan’s cry
(Ground Shaker!) Blow the horn of Revelation!
Tyhjyys!

w00t hahaha

and yes, Tyhjyys is a word, just not english.



7 our of 10 by the way.

[Annihilator Knight]

and yes, Tyhjyys is a word, just not english.

Is it pronouced: Tie-ja-yis?..I dunno i'm guessing..

6/10..

Clowns suck..

They try to make me happy..
But they acted like fools as i see..

I hate clowns..they suck..
Then threw a bottle and was like F*CK!

The bottle hit his head..
Then i found out he was dead..

After that i got grounded..

^This poem was made for the heck of it!...and I don'thave anything against clowns..I don't really care about clowns..don't hate them...don't like them..

Dark Murder

In a small town..It was a dark night..
No matter where you look..there was no light..

In the darkness was a lunatic..
The things he do are just plain evil and...sick..

Toturing childrens...Ripping organs out..
...and each of his victim yell a horrible shout..

He comes prepared with his bag of weapons..
Chainsaws, axes, swords and guns...

Shooting random people...one by one..
Ripping tons of organs...one by one..

Choking till their eyes pop out...one by one..
Enjoying their deaths...one by one..

His wrath SHALL never end...

*cough*..rate for Dark Murder..not Clowns..lol..

[~Felly~]

Violence....10/10!!! (Me like violence!) It's awesome!

[Dead Or Alive]

I. The end is coming
We're all going to die
Useless is the tears
That you will cry

II. The Devil is coming
There's nowhere to hide
With his army of Demons
There's no point to fight

III. With a poke of his fork
And a swish of his cape
There's no hope in hell
That we will escape

IV. The Devil is coming
We're all going to die
The World on fire
Heaven a lie

I made it specially for an RPG

[Laguna Loire]

SCHizophrenia? {Insanity In A World Of Logic}

Looking at the mirror, on the wall, I bleed.
I lost my pills, so "Insanity" I plead.

There are two sides of me, I've been cut down the middle.
I don't know why, it's like some sort of riddle.

Ha ha! I'm back! Who the **** is that?
It's me! It's who? The one you treat like a rat!

Oh no, not you. Why don't you just go away?
I won't go away until you decide to pay!

Pay for what exactly? My crimes? My sins?
Who cares! Either way, I'm the one who wins!

Who the **** are you? What are you doing here?
I'm just a part of you, a dark part you ought to fear!

Leave me alone! Stop tormenting me!
You stupid ****, you still don't see?

It's my job to torment you, it's what I have to do.
Torment someone else! Find someone new!

Ha ha ha, you simple fool!
You're an idiot! Such a ****ing tool!

I'm sending you back now, I hope you have fun!
But I'll return, you prick, I'm still not done...

I opened my eyes, felt like I was gonna fall...
I looked at the mirror, and saw my blood on the wall...

---

I don't know where this came from, I thought of it in the shower... o_O

A note for the idiots out there - the text in italics represents another voice.

[Gimpy]

It thought it was a fairly well thought out poem until you said heaven was a lie, if that's the case (which it may be your belief.) Than consiquently, would that also make Satan, his minions and the dominion in which they control a falsification also? I mean, you can't embrace one principal of a religion and disregard another, they go hand in hand.

5/10

[Dead Or Alive]

Cool! 9/10

[Laguna Loire]

Haha, we all posted at the same time here... :P

For Nobody's poem - 7/10, some nice stuff in there man, pretty cool. :)

[[stick-jây-tee]]

What ever happened to happy poetry?

[Laguna Loire]

^ Ehh... :P Neto's stuff is what I'd describe as "happy poetry"...

[Dead Or Alive]

lol. Its realy good though

[Annihilator Knight]

Zamith, The Knight of Dark Blood

He makes all of us fill with fear..
As if he finds you, then your death is near..

His laugh makes your blood go cold..
His sword shall take your soul..

His face makes you feel frozen..
His speed will kill you in a second..

His past is filled with pain..
It was the first thing that made him insane..

He set up his future..
To be come the world's dark ruler..

He is the wicked Knight of Dark Blood!
And all shall fall even the gods!

Eh...I dunno where i got this from..

[Laguna Loire]

Mmm, 6/10, mainly because some lines rhyme and suddenly others don't...vocabulary's kinda limited on it, though I like some of the lines in there, so I gave it a 6...if it was a longer poem and continued like that, it would've probably gotten a lower mark... -_-

[~Felly~]

Same as LS. But if it continued...it probably would've been a 3-4. I'm working on another poem at school...I think I gots one...lemme check. Yeah,I got one...


The moon was going down
And my cat was meowing.
The sun rose...
And I awoke from dreams.
It was a new day...
But only for a day.
The end of a day
Is the start of a new day.


Done. Wrote it in school,and I personally think it sucks. And Mrs.Claffy (English teacher) gave me a good grade...for some reason,and I thought it sucked!

[Laguna Loire]

8/10, I quite like it FEL, nice and simple. All the lines are roughly equal length, so nothing in there feels out of place...I thought it flowed quite well when I read it...and I just like the poem. Just wasn't sure about the last four lines, the repetition of "day"...still, nice work FEL, keep it up. :)

[Dead Or Alive]

It

It is what we fear
It is very near
It is everywhere
It is now here

It is what we hate
It uses us as bait
S***, it's too late
It has decided our fate

It shall kill
It shall murder
A place in hell
For you it shall order

It can be Joy
It can be Peace
It can make all
The murder cease

[Laguna Loire]

7/10 - Y'know, that honestly feels unfinished to me mate...I can't explain why, it just doesn't feel finished...it's pretty good, though it just feels like that's half the poem... o_O

[Antownee]

*Ehem*

Muffins.


Mufins here
Muffins There
Muffins just about everywhere
A muffin up
A muffin down
A muffin to take away my frown
A muffin for evey drop of rain
Muffins on Louis' brain.

PVVnage

[Laguna Loire]

^ 10/10 - hohoho, as soon as I saw the word "muffin" it got a 10... :P

[Antownee]

HaHa :P
easy as that :D

[~Felly~]

Good poem, Ragdoll. It involves food, and anything that involves food gets a 10/10. So here's how to calculate your score.


Food + Some sort of writing about food = 10/10!!!

[STEELIX]

what is with you guys and muffins¿

[Annihilator Knight]

what is with you guys and muffins¿

What is up with you and those weird upside down symbols? Neh.

We like muffins :) And We love Ragdoll's poem, 10/10.

[Laguna Loire]

^ Indeed! :D

[Antownee]

Haha? :P

[Laguna Loire]

>>Revived?

Cryhavoc - Book I

The wound of the war; the scars of the battle.
Treated like ****; rounded in like cattle.

Hiding in the bunker, awaiting my fate.
Thinking of the enemy; fueling my hate.

A machine gun in my hands, holding the ender of lives.
Whereas the soldiers in the back were gambling, one had a pair of fives.

I came here alone, as a scout on the field.
But now I was at breaking point; I no longer had a shield.

As my sanity faded away, I wondered why I came here.
To defend my country? Or did I come out of fear?

Politics? Hah! I spit on the word!
Our leader is a shepherd, and we are sheep in a herd!

I had had enough of this, it was time to do my job.
Though, I didn't feel like a soldier, I felt like part of an angry mob.

Ignoring my feelings, I began to open fire.
I thought this was moral; my mind was such a liar.

We were all just murderers, we had a sick battle plan:
"Shoot anything that moves! Kill as many as you can!"

And as I turned into a murderer, the skies turned grey...
As my flesh grew stronger, my soul wasted away...
---

No idea where this came from to be honest, I wrote it in English today...

[HRBEK]

A pair of fives doesn't get anybody anywhere Liquid Snake, lol. Very well written though mate! 9/10! I would give you 10, but I give too many people that, lol.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

Hahah, yeah, that pair of fives line sucked... :P But cheers for the rating mate! :D

[Dead Or Alive]

It

I. It is what we fear
It is very near
It is everywhere
It is now here

II. It is what we hate
It is not our mate
No, it’s too late!
It’s decided our fate

III. It shall kill
It shall murder
A place in hell
For you it shall order

IV. The end is coming
We’re all going to die
Useless is the tears
That you will cry

V. For it is coming
There’s nowhere to hide
With its army of demons
There’s no point to fight

VI. It is coming
We’re all going to die
The world on fire
Heaven a lie

VII. It can be joy
It can be peace
It can make
The murder cease

VIII. It can be darkness
It can be light
The two of the enemies
Fight and fight

IX. The war is over
There’s nothing to fear
Towns and cities
It shall repair

X. The earth is fixed
The clock now ticks
And to the devil
To hell you pr*ck!

[Laguna Loire]

Mmm, 7/10, I like some of the lines in there, particularly "The world is on fire, Heaven a lie", however, the whole Holy War thing seems rather clichéd to me...also (to look at this poem in a pseudo-Satanic way), Satan is a God, how can humans defeat a God? :P But yeah, nice one man, keep it up. :)

[HRBEK]

6/10. Nothing to do with the quality of how your poem is written mate, but I have never liked that kind of poem construction (4 rhyming lines in a row). Lol, still better than the anti-climatical poem that I wrote. That one wasn't meant to be serious though.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Jack]

8/10. I especially like the lines "And to the devil
To hell you pr*ck!" Lol :P

[Dead Or Alive]

Hey, thanks man :)

[HRBEK]

Lol, I'd actually forgotten about this thread...... I guess not many people here can write poems..... Except for that guy and Liquid Snake.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

I haven't written one for a while...I could do, but I usually only write one when I'm bored in a lesson...I've got too much on my hands atm to write some more stuff...

[Antownee]

Mmm, 7/10, I like some of the lines in there, particularly "The world is on fire, Heaven a lie", however, the whole Holy War thing seems rather clichéd to me...also (to look at this poem in a pseudo-Satanic way), Satan is a God, how can humans defeat a God? :P But yeah, nice one man, keep it up. :)

You have played God of War, Yeah? :P

[Laguna Loire]

^ Rofl, shut uuuup! :P

[Antownee]

Seriously though, did yeh complete that yet? :D lmao

[Brown Bear]

The Great Black Dragon of the East

The town is asleep
They do not know
That the dragon will choose
This time to come
Its large black scales
Gleaming in the night
And suddenly the town wakes up with a fright
The dragon is soaring in the midnight sky
He stops at once and decides to lie
On a rock near the roaring sea
But that night he is attacked immediately
The town’s armies march down to fight
And hopefully slay the dragon, this dreadful night
The dragon awakens and is full of rage
For tonight was not a night to fight
The dragon only wanted a place to stay
To sleep the dreadful night away
And when the troops attacked
He could not resist the urge to fight back
The dragon breathes out deadly flames
And scares half the soldiers away!
The soldiers ask him to stop and talk
And the dragon tells them that his only wish
Is to find a place to sleep and fish
For he is very tired, and very hungry
And does not want to kill these people
The people tell him he can stay the night
And the dragon is relieved and he stops to fight
The next morning when he wakes up
And catches some fish to eat
The soldiers ask him why he doesn’t have a den
So then he decides he should tell them
That his den was forcefully taken
And that every other creature
Has chose that they should hate him
The unicorns, humans, elves, and gnomes
And the Minotaur, Centaurs, and even other dragons
And now his den is gone
They took it and sent him away
And that was when the dragon chose to come down here and stay
“Nobody likes me” he told the men
“They all think I’m too mean.
Everybody hates the Great Black Dragon of the East”

[PøinŦ Çataclsym]

Im really bored, so tell me wat u think...

Redemption (The End of All)

Fire. Everywhere.
The world is ending.

As all fails,
the Earth dies.

As I watched the end,
rifle in hand,

I knew I would survive...
just me.

The thought tormented me,
As a scream was torn from my lips,
I fled...

As the Devil Incarnate began his spell,
I made my last stand.

But as I watched, I saw the one thing
I had valued most in life: my one, true love.

As the last words were spoken,
I charged Satan.

I was struck down,
crying...knowing I had lost

Everything I cared for...
In my last breathes,

I prayed for one thing...

"Please, lord, give us...REDEMPTION"

As I died, I saw a new beginning...
My love was alive, Satan torn apart by the Holy Lord

When my life ended, a new life started,
as I ascended to the Heavens,

I prayed for one more thing:

"Please...please...don't let her die..."

--------

if its really crappy, i dont care...i only spent 5min on it anyway

[~Felly~]

Ummm, pretty good. I'm being forced to do this or I'll probably be killed. I guess since I'm here, I'll type a poem up.

__________________

Legendary Sapphire

Legendary sapphires...
They help you reach your dreams
If you shine them in the sunlight.
However, only two remain...
One for good,
And one for evil.
One was perished inside a fire,
And the other is within a cave that has been blocked off.

___________________

Meh, I just made this up. If it's good enough, I'll probably use it for an RPG.

[HRBEK]

That can only be described as mystifying... I'll post one of my crazy poems or raps (lol) a little bit later.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[PøinŦ Çataclsym]

whos, mine or FELs?

[~Felly~]

Mine... After all, mine was more myst-mysti.. Whatever that word was that he used.

[HRBEK]

Yes, I was referring to Fire Element Lord's poem. By the way, the word was MYSTIFYING, lol.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Hatchet Warrior]

Juggalo Poem

B****es wanna hate

Because of who we are

Well f*** those dirty hoes

They'll never make it far

Dissin' on our family

Because we're not the same

Well forever swing our hatchets

And never feel the shame

Killas til' the end

Together we will die

Chillin with our homies

Always gettin high

So turn up that wicked s***

Stupid f***in' c***

Grab a case of faygo

With a fat a** blunt

F*** all you b****es

We'll scream it so loud

Juggalos forever

And were always f***in' proud

I'll always love my family

Until I f***in' die

So f*** the haters in the world

And hold your hatchets high!!!!

[iewa_]

Possessed by my fear
I hide in the dark
Afraid to be hurt
I've cut out my heart
I've lost all my hope
My wings have been burnt
My final endeavour
Is to prove what I'm worth
So fragile and frail
My soul is asleep
And only you can
Heal the scar cut so deep...


Just thought that it could went another way
But you just had to cast a shadow
On something that I held so dear
On something that now doesn't matter

You used me like a marionette
And brought so much pain in my life
You wanted to make things go your way
And everything you said was based on a lie...


it is not my creat poem. it creat my friend, she is very scruple about her poem. that you think about this poem?

[Antownee]

Juggalo Poem

B****es wanna hate

Because of who we are

Well f*** those dirty hoes

They'll never make it far

Dissin' on our family

Because we're not the same

Well forever swing our hatchets

And never feel the shame

Killas til' the end

Together we will die

Chillin with our homies

Always gettin high

So turn up that wicked s***

Stupid f***in' c***

Grab a case of faygo

With a fat a** blunt

F*** all you b****es

We'll scream it so loud

Juggalos forever

And were always f***in' proud

I'll always love my family

Until I f***in' die

So f*** the haters in the world

And hold your hatchets high!!!!


**** YEAH! :D:D

[Hatchet Warrior]

normally i would never write poems but i was bored as f*** lol

[~Felly~]

Yeah, but yours was still good. Juggalette for life!! Lol, yeah, you get the picture...

[Invader_gir]

*revives thread* heh
been looking through my old college things for poems i had written..
found this one i wrote when i was.. twelve? maybe thirteen.. grade eight anyway.

She Will Never Cry Again

She sits all alone in the corner
And silently the tears fall
Why does her Daddy not love her?
She tries to be the best of them all.

Why does she seem to upset him so?
She doesn't mean to, that I know
But whenever her Daddy looks at her,
Something just seems to blow.

The thoughts are all black in her head
And there is never anywhere to hide.
Her Daddy will be home very soon
And he expects her to be waiting inside.

She hurries out into the darkness,
With only the light from the moon
She walks into the raging river
Knowing she'll be safe from him soon.

As the water flows over her head
She is now free from the pain
Her Daddy can hurt her no more
She will never cry again.

THIS IS COPYWRITE TO ME!! all those that break this shall be smote. (it was published, so theres proof i wrote it there >=/ )

[~Felly~]

Wow... That's pretty good, Kelsi. I like it.

[Laguna Loire]

Damn it Kelsi, that poem's ****in' amazing. As I've already told you, it kicks the **** outta all my old crappy FF/T2 "inspired" poems, haha! :D

*CUDDLE SQUEEZEH!!*

[Invader_gir]

*skweeeezeh cuddle hug* =P

thank you Louis and FEL =D

[Some1]

I think up random stuff when I'm bored. Anyways, heres a Couplet.

"I would rather eat a bowl a vampire bats,
Then spend and hour with a bunch of brats."

[Jdeadevil]

than a*

[k_PixZ]

xDD

Spring is kinda jolly,
people eat some lollies.
Their trying and shoving,
and living and loving.

xD Randomness..ness..xD