Lol!

[[N]eto]

Everyone please post the best of the best jokes you've got! Seto and YamiYugi sure proved themselves and gave me the idea of this Thread so please post some good/ great jokes here!:)

[SetoKaiba]

Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.
Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.
Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."
Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, but I ****ed her anyway.
Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.
Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.
Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.
Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.
Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.
Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.
Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.
Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.
Yo mama's so fat, I shot the ***** and Crisco came out.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.
Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.
Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.
Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.
Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What y'all eating? I'll try it!"
Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Daisy Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling

[Stryker82]

Ok i got one...im not sure if this is how it goes but anyways...

THis guy was out on the golf course and he met thsi other guy...so the ystarted talking and thwe 1st guy asked him what his job was... the other guy replies "well im an assassin, people pay me to kill other people" so the 1st guy says "hey right on, can you see my house from here it's right over there" So the assassin takes apart his golf clubs and assembles a sniper rifle and hands it to the other guy. The guy looks throught it at his house and says "oh my god! thats my wife...oh my god! she cheating on me with another man!" then he says "ok how much do you charge to kill someone?
the assassin replies "$1000 a bullet"
the man says "ok with your first buled id like to to shoot his balls of, and with the second bullet please shoot my wife in the head"
The sniper takes aim and then says "hold on a second, i think i can save you $1000"

hehehehe

[[N]eto]

Yo Momma's so stupid that when I saw "Education" on her job application it said "Hooked on Phonics!"

Yo Momma's so fat her v****a is deeper than the Grand Canyon.

Your so poor that when I saw you kicking a can and asked you what you were doing you answered " I'm moving!"

Keep it going guys this is some funny jokes you guys are posting!
:fart:

[-Gold-]

Originally posted by Stryker82
Ok i got one...im not sure if this is how it goes but anyways...

THis guy was out on the golf course and he met thsi other guy...so the ystarted talking and thwe 1st guy asked him what his job was... the other guy replies "well im an assassin, people pay me to kill other people" so the 1st guy says "hey right on, can you see my house from here it's right over there" So the assassin takes apart his golf clubs and assembles a sniper rifle and hands it to the other guy. The guy looks throught it at his house and says "oh my god! thats my wife...oh my god! she cheating on me with another man!" then he says "ok how much do you charge to kill someone?
the assassin replies "$1000 a bullet"
the man says "ok with your first buled id like to to shoot his balls of, and with the second bullet please shoot my wife in the head"
The sniper takes aim and then says "hold on a second, i think i can save you $1000"

hehehehe

you want funny? It took me like a minute to get that! that is nasty.......... funny but nasty............. We all should tell our girl friends that joke......!!!!!!! LOL!

[[N]eto]

I had to read that twice in order to get it because he had some letters all messed up... But that one is funny as h***!

Yo momma's so fat that 50 Ton rocks would get stuck on the first roll on her stomach.

Your so stupid you stold a free sample!

[Stryker82]

I already told that one to my girlfriend lol....

No offense to any blondes out there that are reading these...

Why is a blond's coffen Y shaped?
Whenever she lays down her legs spread

What does a blonde put behind her ears to attract men?

Her legs

3 blonds on an island and a genie appears he says that he'll grant each blond one wish... the first blond wishes to be intelligent, so she gets turned into a redhead and swims off the iosland
the second blonde wishes to be more intelligent than the first and gets turned into a brunette, builds a boat, and sail off the island.
the 3rd blonde wishes to be even more intellegint thna the first 2 women put together, so she gets turned into a man and walks across the bridge!

[Peppage]

Those are some funny jokes. I have one:

A young man is going to pick up his girlfriend for the dance. He had something not so good for dinner and has some really bad gas. He really is farting a lot. When he arrives at the house she isn't ready yet so the parents make him sit on the sofa to wait. Their dog spot comes over and sits next to him. So he is waiting and he lets a little fart go. The mother sitting in the other chair yells "SPOT!". He thinks great, the mother thinks it is the dog. A little later he lets another one go, "SPOT!" the mother yells again. He has to let another one loose but this time it is a really big one. He lets it loose and the mother yells "Spot get over here before he craps on you!"

haha.:evil:

[Half-White]

man, these jokes are great

3 men die and go to heaven. An angel asks them- "how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The 1st man says- "I cheated on my wife twice." So the angel gives him a compact car.

2nd man says- "I cheated on my wife once." He gets a minivan.

3rd man says- "I was faithful to my wife my whole life." he gets a van.

Some time later, the 1st and 2nd men see th 3rd man crying. They ask, "What's wrong?" 3rd man says, "I saw my wife." They say, "That's good!" 3rd man says, " You don't understand. She was riding a skateboard."

How's that?

[ringman]

2 Irishmen walk into a bar eating sandwiches and the bartender said "Hey your not allowed to eat your own food in here"

So they swapped sandwiches

www.jokes.com

[-Gold-]

Originally posted by XT960
man, these jokes are great

3 men die and go to heaven. An angel asks them- "how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The 1st man says- "I cheated on my wife twice." So the angel gives him a compact car.

2nd man says- "I cheated on my wife once." He gets a minivan.

3rd man says- "I was faithful to my wife my whole life." he gets a van.

Some time later, the 1st and 2nd men see th 3rd man crying. They ask, "What's wrong?" 3rd man says, "I saw my wife." They say, "That's good!" 3rd man says, " You don't understand. She was riding a skateboard."

How's that?

thats a good 1, i have some really good 1's but there really bad, well not really bad but bad so if you want to hear it i think that i should e-mail it to you.

here goes 1 thats not bad and kinda dumb but here you go.

there is a blond that got pulled over by a cop, he draws a circle and tells the blond to stay in it. this cop does not like the blond so he pulles out a bat and knocks out the windows, the blond starts laughing, he turns around and asks whats so funny and she says nothing. so the cop puts a lot of dents in the sides of her car and she starts laughing again, he askes whats so funny again and she says nothing. this time the man is really mad and crushes the car so it is totaly ruined. she starts laughing again this time harder, the cop askes what is so funny in a really mad voice so she tells him,"every time you turned around, i steped out if the circle.":) kinda dumb but it took me a long time to type.

[Half-White]

nice avatar, Highwind.

Q- What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

A- Run! She has a grenade in her mouth!

[cHilli]

hehe..

just a reminder,

no racist jokes..

[Stryker82]

Blonde jokes aint racist lol..... (Blonde Jokes r alwas the best ones)

[Spark]

Ok, look at my signature. They're not that funny, but they're something. I think i have three
-Spark

[-Gold-]

i know 2 good blond jokes, but like most, there bad. so i will try to find 1 that isent, wait not find think.lol

I cant think of n e that you havent herd.....:cry:

[Cid Highwind]

Want to buy a watch?

Standing at the bar, all alone, Jim Flynn was approached by a stranger.

'Hey there,' said the man out of the corner of his mouth, 'wanna buy a watch?'

'What's it like?' asked Rynn.

'Sh!' said the stranger. 'The fellow next to you is still wearing it!'

[-Gold-]

that was pretty good
no affence to n e 1 but here is a joke about mexicans

what is it when you see a black man pushing a car? out of gas.
what is it when you see a white man pushing a car? out of gas.
what is it when you see a mexican pushing a car? grand theft atuo!

[-Gold-]

here is a question, y do pp think that when ppl say do you want to hear a blond joke they atomaticly know that it is of a girl. cause guys are the superior race!:stoned:

[Half-White]

Maybe so, but girls are much hotter, for, uh, TWO OBVIOUS REASONS, lol.

[Psych]

ok one day to young broyhers 1,7 and the other 4decided they were going to say their first swear so the 7 year old decided to say hell and the 4 year old a$$ well they went down fir breakfast and the mother asked what do you want for breakfast the 7 year old said ah hell i'll hhave some Cherios the mother sent the boy to his room.then the mother said what do you want and the 4 year old said well u bet ur a$$ i dont want Cherios

[-Gold-]

that is a good 1, i should tell my mom..... jk and XT, i MUST agree whith you. especily with the blondes.........:evil:

[Cid Highwind]

Irish they were and drunk for sure and they sat in the comer of Mulligan's newly refurbished bar. Across the wall opposite was a huge mirror, fourteen feet long and stretching from floor to ceiling.

Glancing around the room Pat suddenly spotted their reflection in the mirror.

'Mick, Mick,' he whispered. 'Don't look now but there's two fellas over there the image of us!'

'In the name of God,' said Mick, spotting the reflection. 'They're wearing identical clothes and everything.'

'That does it,' said Pat. 'I'm going to buy them a drink.'

But as Pat started to rise from his seat, Mick said, 'Sit down Pat one of them's coming over!'

[SetoKaiba]

hey i hav one,two guys walk into a bar,they see a drunk guys who drank a lot of beers,so they decide to take him home,when they started walking,they try to let him walk on his own,but every time,he keeps falling.when they finally ring on his door bell,his wife says,"thx for bringing my husband home,but wheres his wheelchair???"

[-Gold-]

thats funny! i wish i had more. but i dont.....lol

[Grim Reaper]

holy wars are actually long, dragged out fights about who's imaginary freind is better.

[-Gold-]

my imaganary frirend's name is DEATH

[Stryker82]

Good ones guys...

[-Gold-]

well it is!!!! lol jk, i MUST find some more......

[Half-White]

YO MAMA'S SO FAT, SHE TAKES BATHS AT SEA WORLD!

YO MAMA'S SO DUMB, SHE PAID FOR FREE SAMPLES AT JEWEL-OSCO!

IF YO MAMA GETS ANY FATTER, SHE'LL NEED HER OWN ZIP CODE!

[[N]eto]

Good work, these jokes are funny as heck!

[-Gold-]

here is a blond joke:
there is a blond and a redhead walkin down the road and the read head says "owwww look at thes poor dead bird....." the blond says "where, where?" she is lookin in the sky.

ok

what does the blinde paralized def mute kid get for christmas? cancer!

[EGYPT CHEATER]

that asassin one is nasty but i understood it in one try

[cHilli]

dont bring back old threads


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