The Adventures of Pengy the Evil Penguin

[<~Darkshadow~>]

This is just a story I wrote..........it's not that good but there are some funny parts......there is a sequel and I'll post it if you guys are interested. And I'm currently working on the third addition to the series. But for now....just enjoy this one....C&C's please.

A long time ago in a galaxy far away, a boy named Johnny Johnson was born on the planet of Eukopotamianotonville. He was immediately rejected by his parents and was sent to live on Earth. When he got to seventh grade, he went to Mauldin Middle School. He wanted to destroy earth because everyone made fun of him. So he created an evil penguin. He named the penguin, Pengy the Evil Penguin. He called him Pengy for short. The penguin did many horrible things until his so called “death” in 2008. This is the story of his life and what an evil creature he was.
It was lunchtime on Monday. Everything seemed normal until all of the food disappeared! Everyone was shocked! Then someone’s voice came over the intercom system. It was a strange voice. Like someone put two or three marbles in their mouth as they spoke. The voice belonged to Pengy the Evil Penguin. He said, “I have eaten all of your food.” Everyone was puzzled. “This is only the first attack. Soon the world will be mine!” Then students became even more confused. Finally one braves student named Billy Bob Jones walked into the main office. He saw the penguin. He was in shock. Then all of the sudden he broke out into laughter. The principal walked in, saw the penguin, and threw him out of the building. Then the principal took Billy Bob Jones back to his class. Then a few minutes later, the evil penguin arrives at his lair.
When the penguin arrives at his lair, he begins to plan his next attack. He plans to do something so horrible, that even his cousin, the evil tooth fairy wouldn’t approve of it. It was so horrible, his father, the evil Easter bunny would shake in fear. His plan was to kidnap the vice president of the United States. He was going to hold the vice president hostage until his demands were met.
The next day at 7:30am, everyone was getting ready for work in the United States. Most people have the morning news on. Then, suddenly a special report interrupts the regularly scheduled programming. “The Vice President has been kidnapped,” said the newscaster, “He is being held hostage by an unidentified suspect. He demands a ransom before he releases the vice president.” People are in shock. “Wait a moment, please…” The newscaster listens carefully to what he is hearing in his earpiece. “The suspect has just been identified. It’s a…….penguin!?” The newscaster is confused. Then all of the sudden Pengy intercepts control of all of the television channels. He then comes on screen.
“I have taken your vice president hostage,” said Pengy, “I will not release him until all of my demands are met.” People are amazed to see a talking penguin. They begin to think that it’s all a cruel joke. “This is NOT a joke. I want my ransom ASAP! I would like three grilled-stuffed burritos from Taco-Bell, as well as a large coke,” demanded the penguin, “But that’s not all. I also want three million dollars worth of hard-shell tacos, a cool new hat, and 25,000 pounds of cheddar cheese. As well as $750,000,000,000.…..in cash.” Everyone is very confused now. But almost immediately some teenage retard comes up to the penguin wearing a Taco Bell outfit and gave the penguin want he wanted. Then the teenager took the vice president back to his limo. Then Pengy comes up with a new plan.
The next day, Pengy arrives in Canada. “What a gay place” Pengy says to himself, “Why would anyone want to live here?” He then went to the capital of Canada and went to see the gay prime minister of the gay country. So Pengy went into the gay prime minister’s gay office in the gay country of Canada. You can tell I don’t like Canada, can’t you…..hehehe……..anyways…..Pengy took over the gay country of Canada and blew it up because he couldn’t stand all of the gayness. Then he continues his plan to take over the world.
The next week, he takes over Mexico as well as Cuba. He moves farther south to the southernmost tip of South America, taking over every country on his way. The only country left to take over was the United States of America. He knew it would be hard but he had to do it anyway. He goes back to Washington D.C. He headed straight for the White House. He then found the president and said, “Hehehe……You’re next!” The president didn’t know what to think. “Give me your country or I will play nothing but Macy Gray on all of the radio stations, play nothing but The Powerpuff girls on TV and destroy the internet.” The president was in fear. He immediately turned over power of the USA to Pengy. Of course this would never happen in real life but I can make anything I want to happen in this story because it’s so pointless. But let’s get back to the story. Then it had been completed. Pengy took over the entire Western Hemisphere. Now he had to find his creator.
He headed back to Mauldin Middle School and found Johnny Johnson. “It’s time to die, Pengy. You have gone way too far!” screamed Johnny Johnson.
“Oh really? Well we’ll just have to see about that, won’t we?” said Pengy. Then Pengy took out an Automatic AK-47 Machine Gun with laser sighting, sniper scope, and chrome finishing……Then……..he ate it…..then he took out a Frinesi 5-gauge Shotgun and pounded Johnny Johnson full of lead and drown him in his own pool of blood. Now he had to get to the Eastern Hemisphere.
Later that day, he sneaks onto a cargo plane headed for Paris, France. He is thinking of how wonderful it will be when the world belongs to him. He will be so proud of himself. Then all of the sudden the plane shakes rapidly. He gets worried. Then, CRASH! The plane nosedives into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. He swims to Bermuda, hijacks a yacht and takes it to the Seine River and takes it to Paris. Then he went to the Eiffel Tower and painted it purple. Then he went to the Louvre’ and replaced all of the paintings with pictures of penguins. Then the French army finds Pengy and beats him with French bread. Then they run for their lives as the penguin reaches for one of their muskets. He grabs it and begins to fire at the French soldiers. But there was no ammo in it because the French are too wimpy to use a real gun. The soldiers run away to get poodles to throw at Pengy. He follows them and then sees one of their unused tanks. It took a few minutes to start because the French never used it. But he got it started. He then went on a rampage through Paris. He blows up the Arc De Triomphe. He then sees a little shop that sells those weird little hats called berets. He stopped and bought a few. He thought they were cool. Then he continued his rampage through Paris. Then a few hours later he had completely taken over France. Now he begins to head toward Germany.
When he got to Germany he went straight to Hitler’s grave, and brought him back to life, turned him into a penguin, and stopped his Nazi ways. Damn Nazis. What was their problem anyway. Jews are people too. Anyway….Pengy named the former Hitler nazi guy The Artist Formerly Known As Hitler. Then Pengy and that former drug-crazed nazi went to the Autobahn. Then they caused a 63.8 car pile up. How is that possible? I don’t know. But who cares. Then they began their journey towards India. They were going to do something to the Taj Mahal but they didn’t know what yet. When they got there they decided to pour melted cheese on top of the Taj Mahal. The people of India panicked as the cheese oozed down the sides of the great building. Pengy and The Artist Formerly Known as Hitler now had to continue their mission to take over the world.
Then Pengy and the weirdo with that gay mustache began to head toward China. They had a very good plan to cause chaos while they were there. They headed straight for the biggest grocery store in all of China. It was called Panda-Mart. They bought all of the stores tin foil. Then they went to the Great Wall. They covered it with the tin foil. When they finished, it was dark outside. They sneaked out of China and headed for Australia.
When they got to Australia, they kidnapped a kangaroo and forced it to take them to the Crocodile Hunter’s home. It took them a long time to get there but when they did, they turned him into an armadillo and abandoned him in the outback. No not the restaurant the real outback. That was the only thing in the world people were happy about. The Crocodile Hunter was gone. When Pengy heard this he was furious. He changed the Crocodile Hunter back into a human and made him even more annoying than ever. Then it was complete. Pengy and that retard from Germany had taken over the world. Now they needed to find a place to build their new lair.

[<~Darkshadow~>]

They decided to build their new lair on the island of Fiji. It was an enormous building. When they completed the construction, they intercepted control of all of the television stations in the world and came onscreen. “We are now in charge of all of you little turd monkeys. Everything belongs to us!” said Pengy. “Now you all shall obey me and your assistant ruler, The Artist Formerly Known as Hitler.” People were afraid. “Please, my slaves, stay calm. You shall not be afraid. You shall worship me!”
In the United States, the president had heard enough. He knew he had to do something. He called Pengy via videophone. “Pengy, I mean, Mr. Penguin, please listen to me,” said the president, “You are out of control!”
“Shut up Numb-Nuts!” interrupted Pengy. Then the president got so mad his face turned red. He had to stop Pengy.
So the president planned out what he was planning to do in his plan to stop Pengy’s plan from taking over the world……….and stuff. He called the military, the navy, the air force, and that girl he had a crush on in Junior High. Then he shipped them out to the island of Fiji. It was time to stop Pengy once and for all………and that Nazi dude.
The next morning, Pengy and The Artist Formerly Known as Hitler we sleeping soundly when the United States armed forces come into their lair. The Artist Formerly Known as Hitler wakes up. The military killed him……..with a toothpick.
“That was easy,” said one soldier.
“Almost too easy,” Said another soldier
“I’ll kill the penguin,” said one brave soldier by the name of Eddy Edson. He was from Edsville, Wyoming. We walks up to Pengy. Pengy wakes up but pretends to be sleeping. Eddy Edson shoved his finger down Pengy’s throat. Pengy pretended to die instantly. He laid there pretending to be dead. Then the Military returned power of the world to it’s rightful owners. At least for now, that is.

I hope you liked it.....though you probably didn;t but please give me your comments and critiscizms (sp).