i'm in need of help...

[DayleJ]

and i don't know where to look...i hav no one to talk to, no one to listen, my heart is breaking as my thoughts run on, everything is against me, especially time...how do i go on? i'm struggling with life...

i don't know why i'm gonna post this, mayb cuz i need to let things out...think wot u will, but everyone who is truthful needs someone at sometime.

[Anubis]

yea, i`v been feeling lonely sometimes, i have been getting into trouble with school l8ely and i dont really want to continue, but i know its what i must so i will try my hardest. i just dont want to get grounded anymore.....i also feel very scared at times, afraid of what might happen to me if i screw up....i have lots of confusing thoughts...sometimes they even confuse me.........

[[N]eto]

Dayle, I know what you mean, I've been out of it for the past 2 months. I'm with someone, but that doesn't really help. I feel so strange when I'm around her, my friends, anyone. I try to give myself some time to think, but that just makes it worse...

I'm such a bad person, I mean, I like her, but I also like this other girl. It kills me because right when I got with her, the other girl I like and I were getting even closer than before. But I really hate to hurt anyone, so now I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just let it flow, as I have no way out of this.

[<~Darkshadow~>]

Dude....I know exactly how u feel.......I was suicidal last year because everything that happened to me was bad.......My sister almost died, My dad almost died, I was failing in school, losing my friends, and I got very lonely. It was really hard for a hell of a long time. Then my mom found a note in my pocket that I had be passing back and forth with one of my friends. It said that I was going to kill myself if things didn't get better. She didn't tell me that I found it and immeadiately called my dad. They kept it quiet for awhile until my dad decided to tell me everything my sister did. That made it worse. I tried to kill myself about 3-4 times until my parents found a therapist and he helped me a lot. My old friends started helping me after they saw all of the self inflicted cuts on my forearm. I was in really bad shape. It hurts just to think about it. But my friends helped me come back and everything turned out to be ok. My sister recovered from what had happened to her over the summer and is fine now. Which made me cry I was so releived. But I never want to relive what I went through. I felt unloved, unwanted, and disowned. I cried myself to sleep everynight. We all go through it at one time or another and it happened to me at a young age. But luckily for me, I fought through it. I just pray to God that I never have to go through that period again. I hope nobody has to.

[Half-White]

In the 4th Grade, my life pretty much changed forever... my parents were getting divorced, and the people who were supposed to be my friends were picking on me. I went to another school the next year. And then in 7th Grade... it was just tough. New school again (junior high) and I just had a hard time keeping up with things. Some of this also carried over to 8th Grade. But none of this is anything compared to what gamerboy apparently went through. Gamerboy, Dayle, Neto, and Anubis... I feel for you guys right now, especially gamerboy..

[Oddball]

I feel like **** everyday, ive only had a Girlfriend one and it doesnt count because i was only 7! 7!! People think im crazy because of my outof control temper when iam mad. I flipped out and started Yelling when i lost in Vollyball. I need Threapy! People say i dont defend my self when people hit me, If i hit everyone it me and bashing me around, id have to fight every single day of my life. My real name(which i wont tell anyone here) rymes with Gay. SO everyone makes fun of me in schoool, everyone. MY life has allways been falling apart, but i was just hoping it would get better next year in High School. My friends are like the worst friends in the world. Well at least a few of them. They make fun of u beind ur back and do all kind of crazy stuff to humlitate u. It was hell especailly last year. Lett me quote something someone said last year. " You let Micheal take control of you, Fight back, do something. Dont always listen to him." My Older sis told me just to wait till then. I'd hope so man id hope so. Dont worry DayleJ, u can allways go here to fix problems. If that doesnt help, just see a Counceler, because if u dont fix this now, i can get worst.

[<~Darkshadow~>]

Originally posted by Half-White
Gamerboy, Dayle, Neto, and Anubis... I feel for you guys right now, especially gamerboy..

Thanks, dude.......I guess we all have our rough points in life, but the best way to deal with people making fun of u is just to ignore them. Don't fight back.....It's just not worth it......you'll just be feeding the fire......trust me......I have gotten into fights about that b4 and I may have won, but it sure as hell pissed the guy off. It just made it worse. I'd rather not talk about what exactly my sister did, but if you really want to know and think u could help, then I might tell u, but I'll really have to make a big descision about it. It was so bad it made my dad throw-up when he heard it.....and he never throws-up. I was horrified about what could have happened. I thought she died.......I was scared to death.....Then when It got really bad, I didn't eat anything for a month, I couldn't sleep, even my teachers were worried about me. I had bloodshot eyes, big black circles under my eyes, and I looked so depressed, u wouldn't belive it. Even kids that had made fun of me before were starting to help me. I'm still going through it a little bit.....but I'm afraid it's coming back........I started listening to heavier rock because I could relate to the lyrics. I became so lazy and I couldn't hardly do anything. I stayed inside all day, and I gained a few pounds. I worked them off later though, but I'm starting to grow them back. I just wish everything would be fine but it never comes true. I sometimes just climb out my bedroom window at night and sit on the roof and look at the sky. I just stare at it and think of how my life was before all of this and how I wish everything could be. Now some of my friends are going away again and I'm really starting to feel bad about myself. I look in the mirror and don't see the person I used to be. I look different. And not just because I'm growing. I feel self-concious about my looks and wish I looked like more of the popular kids. I wish I look like I did before. But I don't and it's hard to deal with. I just want my friends back. Especially my girlfriend. Someone spread a really nasty rumor about me that made her break up with me. Now she hates me. Even though there are some other girls I like better now, they're good friends but now they're turning their backs on me too. I just wish everything was fine. But u can't always have everything.

[Oddball]

I hope things are going well for u now, just try to pull through and get through it all.


Thats the whole reason i listen to Rock. My life just went as low as it can go, its recovering but im afraid at some point the hell will all come back. Thats why i have about 2300 post, i have no life i need help. Im 160lbs even though im 5'7. Im only about 14(well Next Friday i will be)
Let me sum up last year and this year in a Nutshell

Sept 2002- was total ****, i hated my self and life, i just wanted to goto high school and escape the people in my past that have always made fun of me and still do.

October 2002- Same ****, and my so called friend tryes to take controll of me and want me as his mini me. Friend arond me were like do something dont let him take controll of u.

Jan 2003- Was one of my lowest points in my life. This kid im talking about flip out at me because i dont want to be his friend any more. He was about to throw a chair accross the room at me. What a Phyco! I thought i was going to be serverly injered. Everyone was like WOAH, if u were to actually get in a fight u would get destroyed. I Lost respect from so many people. They thought I was a wuss.

May, June 2003- I felt absoltly low, i almost killed my self, but turned to my older sister for help. My friends were trying to kick me out of the group, the treated me like abo****e ****. I yelled at everyone at the top of my lungs. **** YOU!, LEAVE MY THE **** ALONE YOU ASSHOLES! DAMN YOU!! everyone in the school yard laughs at me. I almost wanted to die.

July , August 2003- things start to wind down although i became so lonly, i had so many dreams about want a girlfriend something missing in my life.

Sepetmber 2003- things were okay just okay.

October- was like the busyest time of my life. I dont get home till 7pm then i have to do homework. it Sucks. I had no rest. Friday people want me do go over to their house so i dont get home till 10 or 11pm. Saturday, i have to hang out with someone. Sunday is my only rest day. Im so bummed out. I have to do good in class i get so much homework. I have to do good or i wont goto a good high school. I have to fill out all these crap for high schools. It sucks really.

November 2003- things wind down. the 21st is my birthday.

I see hatred in me now, i got pimples and crap all over my face, i never smile. I have last smiled like last april, then my friends pissed my off that day and i was completly depressed. I hate my life, my school, its a Conformity. Everyone dreeses the same, looks the same and listens to rap. You need a ps2 to fit, and play GTA 3 and Vice City. U need to play Maiden Football and NBA Basketball to fit, if u play gamecube, u are a total fag. I listen to rock, i have to keep it secret or everyone will jump me and beat the **** out of me.and its worst for me because im black and im expected to be the best rapper.
I hate life, i only hope it gets better.

[Half-White]

Well... when I was feeling like **** last year, it dawned on me... the only person who can truly help you is yourself. Other people can help, but a positive attitude is the best solution. For example, I heard someone say I was skinny as a rat once last year, so I started doing push-ups at home. Not a whole lot. Probly 10 every day, and slowly increasing the amount I do. I became much stronger in just one month. Life is full of ****, but if you do as much good as you can, you'll be able to look back one day with pride. Even if the good only lasts for a couple months, cherish every moment of it.

[Kiwi Dude]

Hmm well I just read the first couple posts everything started to get to long.......

All I can say to everyone feeling like Dayle is to take up a sport or something, get involved with outdoor things with other people your age insted of just sitting infront of a PC all day every day......

[Half-White]

I would... but I'm just not an outdoors-ish kind of guy...

[Shadowfax]

Life is full of suffering, and to this we dislike. That is why we have one another in this forsaken world. To this, thngs may get better. Its may get worse, but for the time being, we have one another here in the forums, and we shall use every last bit of it, till one passes. We will mourn, but something you should know, is that there is nothing we can do, and so the only way would be to share one another's feelings. Twill make us feel better, but only for the moment.

Many times in life will we suffer.

To this I know, for I have suffered in addition.

[Half-White]

Yeah... you're absolutely right Virus. Tho, I think we've all suffered in addition...

[Peppage]

Hey guys, I had the same problems... Well maybe not as bad but it did all get better for me when I went into High School... Middle school is the worst. And before that even worse. But For me any way High School was awsome... Finally found some great friends to be with and it was great. College is even better! So Cheer up guys, you have something to look forward too.

[banzaii.02]

look. all. ALL of you seem like you need to get yourselves together. I know that some of you have to go through S**t, especially gamefreak and gamerboy. Im lucky. i dont look good, but i manage to get through school. I always get shouted at by teachers and even made fun of by people at school cos they say i speak posh. i sort of do. I get through school because i like to make people laugh. ive made tonnes of mates cos i try to keep a good view on life. heck, get through school, and youve got a whole new start. teachers are just people. dont care if you get put down, because you are just as good as them. if people hate you, just talk to thm and get them to ask. i know this dont sound inspiring, but im just trying to explaint that look for the good thngs in life. and youll be alright. good luck to ya gamerboy. give em hell. and you gamefreak. Rock rules, and there are loads who like it!!!! good luck in life y'hear!?!?