my latest story...

[<~Darkshadow~>]

I don;t really have a name for it but its for my creative expressions class....before i got kicked out of school.......its about a hero in my life.


Just when I thought there was no one there for me, she came running with her arms open. I thought it was over. I couldn’t go back to school, My parents were freaking out so much, a lot of my friends couldn’t even talk to me anymore. But then I gave her a phone call and she helped me realize that everything was going to get a lot better despite everything that’s been going on. Even though I really did not believe that.

She said, “Brad, why on earth would you do something like that?” I just didn’t know what to say.
“I’m sorry,” is all I could come up with at the time. She was pretty upset with me but she still wanted to help.
“Will you please explain to me why you asked someone for a gun? I mean that’s just something you never do!”
“I…I…I just thought there was no point anymore,” I responded.
“Brad, there is always a point. You never do anything like that. It’s just stupid.”
“She just kept making me feel useless. Ever since I told her how I felt about her, she just made me feel like nothing. But no matter what I can’t give up on her.”
“Brad, all she is doing is messing with your head. She just likes the attention. Just stop giving it to her and she’ll want you back or something,” she said.
“I don’t know if I can do that…”
“I know you can, Brad,” she interrupted.
Well then I guess I’ll try, but it won’t be easy. In the meantime, I have to go to bed. I’m getting tired,” I said. Then we said goodnight and hung up the phone.

All night I was awake and I couldn’t stop thinking about what has been going on. I was tossing and turning and I just could not sleep at all. I didn’t want to just forget about her. I knew I couldn’t just leave her alone forever. The one girl who I truly felt love for. I just couldn’t do it if I tried. I couldn’t do it if I was paid to. Not even for a million dollars. I just know I wouldn’t be able to do it.

The next morning I got out of bed, took a long shower, and ate a big breakfast. I went back upstairs to my room and just broke down. I just sat there all day. I actually wanted to go back to school. I was that bored. I missed all my friends already. Especially her. I was so depressed I actually felt pain in my heart. But there was nothing I could do. Then she called me from work.

“Hey Brad, how are you doing?” she asked right when I picked up the phone.
“I feel like crap. I miss her, and I’m not just going to forget about her and not pay any attention to her. I know that I cant do it.”
“Well then maybe you could just think of other things,” She suggested.
“Oh yeah? Like what?” I asked sarcastically, “Everything sucks now.”
“Well try this: Make a list of ten things you like about yourself and ten things you want to change about yourself. That used to work for me,” She said.
“I don’t know if it’ll work but I’ll try it.”
“It’s going to work for you, Brad, trust me,” She said
“Well, I’m going to try it if you really think it’s going to work,” I said.
“Good, well I’ve got to get back to work, so I’ll talk to you later.”
“Ok bye, I love you.”
“I Love you too, bye,” she responded.

[<~Darkshadow~>]

So I made a list of ten good things about me and ten bad things that I want to change about myself like she said. I was surprised of how many bad things I could think about myself…I started changing them right away. I had exactly ten good things. But about eighteen bad things about me that I wanted to change. That wasn’t that big of a shock. I knew there would be a lot of those.

Then later that night around eight o‘clock…something else happened. The girl who I feel love for, the girl who caused me all this pain because of it, the girl who got me so upset, called me and asked me if she could come to my birthday party. I really would have liked it if she were to come but I knew that she wouldn’t be able to because my dad would never let her after what‘s been going on. But I asked my dad anyway. That was a big mistake because he just went nuts.

“NO! OF COURSE NOT! ISN’T SHE THE CAUSE OF ALL THIS CRAP GOING ON?!?!” he exclaimed
“Well, yeah, but she’s a really good friend.”
“I don’t care if she’s the president of the United States!!! SHE’S NOT COMING TO YOUR PARTY!!!” he screamed.
“But, Dad, you’re being totally unfair. She may have hurt me a little but I’m fine.”
“SHE MUST HAVE HURT YOU A LOT TO MAKE YOU ASK SOMEONE FOR A GUN!!!”
Then I just stormed out of the room and went upstairs and laid down on my bed for awhile. Then she called me again.

“Did you ask your dad if it was ok?” she asked.
“Yeah…”
“He said no didn’t he?”
“Yeah…”
“Oh, well my dad doesn’t think I should go either. He says we can still be friends but it’s just too soon right now.”
“You know, I really don’t care what our parents say. I’m fine and it’s not too soon for anything,” I said.
“Well they do have a point.”
“Oh, shut up.”

Then I just hung up on her because I could tell there was going to be an argument and God knows I do not want that. Anything but that to be quite honest. But I don’t know. Things have been so messed up lately I can barely think straight. Now I really cried. I just sat in bed and cried for at least twenty or thirty minutes. I felt miserable. My dad screamed at me, the girl who I love almost got into a fight with me, and I just wish none of this would have ever happened.

So that all went remarkably well…it made me feel even more like crap. My dad can be pretty good at that sometimes. Not that he’s a bad guy or anything he just yells a lot. But I was thinking that if she were to come to the party if she would just hurt me again. But I still missed her so much it made me feel terrible. So I felt even more miserable and hopeless until she called.

“Hey, Brad!”
“Hi…” I mumbled.
“What’s wrong? What happened? What did she do to you now?”
“She called me wanting to come to my birthday party. Then dad went crazy. Then she called me again and we almost got into a huge argument.” I explained.
“Well it’s a good thing she’s not coming because she might just hurt you even more.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking…” I responded.
Then I had to say goodbye and go to bed.

I finally got some sleep. I woke up the next morning and felt a lot better. Today was the day of my party. Only one person showed up, my friend John, but it was still pretty fun. We went to a haunted house, ate cake and played xbox all night. Then we went upstairs and slept for a few hours. Then we woke up and played xbox some more. It was a lot of fun. Though I still missed her…but I knew it was better that she wasn’t there. Even though I wanted her to come so bad.

Then the next day came, it was my actual birthday. I was now officially fourteen years old. I played with all my new presents, listened to my new music, and just basically hung out around the house all day. Didn’t really do much. I beat the living crap out of my new punching bag and played my new guitar for a few hours. I went back up to my room after dinner and watched some stand-up comedy on TV, hoping that would cheer me up a little bit. But it wasn’t really that great of a day. Nothing really happened. If only that girl would have called me to wish me a happy birthday. That would have made me feel a lot better. But she didn’t call. Then my cell phone rang after dinner. It startled me. It wasn’t her. It was my sister. She called to wish me a happy birthday.


“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear brad, happy birthday to you!” she sang unfortunately.
“Haha, thanks, no offense, but you couldn‘t sing to save your life,” I said.
“Gee, thanks. That makes me feel great. Hahaha but seriously, how was your party last night?” she asked.
“Pretty good. I’m glad she didn’t come though.”
“Well it’s a good thing she didn’t. You never know what could have happened.”
“I got some cool presents too!”
“That’s cool, what did you get?” she asked.
“Some new cds, a new guitar, a punching bag, some shoes and some clothes and dad took me and my friend to a haunted house,” I explained.
“Oh that’s cool. How was the haunted house?”
“It was pretty cool. It scared us at first but then we were intimidating the monster people and annoying them. It was so hilarious. I got the guys with chainsaws to chase me. I was like ‘HEY! CHAINSAW DUDES!!! YOU’RE NOT SO TOUGH!!’ but then they revved up the chainsaws and chased me. I loved it.” I ranted.
“Oh my god haha that’s funny,” she said.
“Well I’m going to go play xbox and some other stuff.”
“Ok, I’ll talk to later.”
“Love you, bye,” I said.
“Love you too.”

Then we hung up. That was a pretty good conversation. She helped me feel a lot better about a lot of things. She got me ranting about my party and all the presents I got and how much fun it all was. That helped me realize that life really isn’t so bad after all. My two brothers called me to wish me a happy birthday as well, they may be heroes but not as big of heroes to me as my sister.

The next day, I did a lot of work for school even though I couldn’t actually be there. Then that night I decided to give her a call. It rang for about a minute then the answering machine came on. I didn’t leave a message. I called back a few times but still no one answered. So that made me feel pretty down about things. I listened to my new Nirvana CD, which probably didn’t help much because they’re kind of dark and sad but I like them. They kind of help me realize that I am not the only one who is going through a lot of crap.

Then the next day I gave her a call again. Her dad answered the phone.

“Hey, is she home?”
“Yeah, hold on a sec,” he responded.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” I said.
“Oh hey what’s up?” she asked.
“Nothing much. I wish you would have come to my party though. I miss you a lot.”
“My dad wouldn’t let me come.”
“I know he called my house and told my mom that,” I responded quickly.
“I wish none of this would have happened,” I said, “Everything sucks so bad now.”
“I’m sorry,” was all she said.
“Thanks…well I’ve got to get some school work done so I’ll talk to you some other time.”
“Ok, bye,” she said.
“Bye,” I said unhappily.



I wish that she would have been more willing to talk to me but I guess you can’t always get what you want. I don’t really get anything that I really want. Like for her to love me back, or to have more friends or something like that. There’s really no way to change that. I’ve thought long and hard and I realized that once someone gets down into a deep state of depression like me, they just can’t go back to the way they were before. I mean, maybe they could eventually but it would never really be the same as it was before. Personally, I don’t think things will ever be the same again. I wish I could say differently but I honestly can’t.

I guess that’s why everyone has a hero. For me, my hero is my sister. It seems to me that whenever things get really bad and my sister calls, things always get better. She makes me feel great every time. And every time things always get better after talking to her. I love her for that. She’s the greatest sister ever. She’s my hero. Ever since we were little we have been the closest out of four siblings. Now she’s twenty and I’m fourteen and she’s got a job. So we can’t talk as much but whenever I need to talk to her she’ll take time out of her day to help me. Why can’t everyone be that way? That’s what I’d like to know. But if everyone can’t be so caring and generous then I guess I’m lucky to have such a great sister.

[<~Darkshadow~>]

day two of no one reading.......great......its a good story i swear...lol

[[N]eto]

Story, or fact? Nonetheless, I'm tired of cries for attention. You know, a guy at the school across town (I have a lot of friends that go there and knew him) killed himself. A great amount of people knew him and cried for him when they found out. My close friends were depressed and felt bad for not doing more to help. They didn't know what was wrong, and there's a chance that this was meant to happen, in order for people to realize something. And that something, I believe, is that people should love one another and try to keep healthy relationships with each other. There is no need for hate, there is no need for suicide and pain. People need to realize this, or we'll be seeing or experiencing more of these unwanted losses. You need to realize that there are some people that care for you no matter what. Just because things aren't going your way now, does not mean people aren't there helping you through whatever problems you may be having. Don't ever give up in life. Take care.

[London_Calling]

Thats prett bad neto...sorry

[cHilli]

First of all Neto, im very sorry to hear that man.

Second;

[quote=Neto] I'm tired of cries of attention.[/quote]

If he didnt cry for attention he wouldnt have gotten your good advice, so therefore they are needed too.

[[N]eto]

[QUOTE=cHilli]First of all Neto, im very sorry to hear that man.

Second;



If he didnt cry for attention he wouldnt have gotten your good advice, so therefore they are needed too.[/QUOTE]

If you're truly having problems, you'd accept help rather than laugh at your situation and say you're going to do something you're too much of a coward to do, hence why I call it a cry for attention rather than help.

Yes, I guess you're right, in a way. I've had to deal with a lot of these situations before, and although it tired me and stressed me out completely, I'm glad I was able to help, and I hope I can help others here, too.

[<~Darkshadow~>]

[QUOTE='[N]eto']If you're truly having problems, you'd accept help rather than laugh at your situation and say you're going to do something you're too much of a coward to do.[/QUOTE]

Dude...who said i was ****ing laughing at my situation....and if i had the oppritunity then i would follow through with it but who are you to judge me? And this is not a god damn cry for attention i posted this for some C&C's not to be laughed at you moof.....as far as im concerned, you can go **** yourself, neto...i never did **** to you and yet you treat me like i add up to nothing....u may have given me some 'advice' but in reality ur just making this worse so **** off man....just leave me alone....

please excuse the language neto just got me so pissed.....graaaaaaaugh!!

[cHilli]

He does that a bit these days.

*BANG*