Three Lil Piggy Iggies

[Soba]

DISCLAIMER: I do not in anyway own the three lil’ piggy iggies, the wolf, or the cow. They all belong to my friend, Ryan…though, he really couldn’t sue me for claiming them…just sic his oddbird drawing Ewe on me…grace, that'll be hell...

All right, as stated above, these characters belong to [b]Ryan[/b], [i]not[/i][b] me[/b]. Also, he wrote the story…I have it posted up in my fictionpress account, and had to share it here. Now, except for some quotation marks, one of his grammar errors (the rest can stay), a few commas and periods here and there, I in no way edited this story. All credit towards Ryan and his sugar highness (unless it’s natural…). This was written in less than 45 minutes during Algebra.

[b]Warnings[/b]: Little bit of swearing. Nothing more.

ON WITH THE STORY!!!


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Once upon a time ago there were three lil’ piggy iggies. They decided to move out of their house and live individually. One piggy iggy wanted to make a house out straw cuz he was lazy and it was the closest thing to him. Now this piggy iggy was a lil’ dumb dumb cuz he’d start to build his and start eating it…but after a while he was like, ‘OK, dammit, I’m gonna finish building this house of mine…’ so he turned on some music. Christina Aguilera was his favorite so he listened to her. The music attracted the attention of a wolf near by and he was like, “What the hell is that nasty noise?’ So as he followed his ears…yes, I said he was following his ears…he saw the lil’ piggy iggy, and he was all like, ‘Wow, I want some food.’ But as the lil’ piggy iggy finished his house he saw the wolf and ran into the house and the wolf came a knockin and was all like, ‘lil’ piggy iggy, let me in…’ and the lil’ piggy iggy was all like, ‘Oh hells no.’ The wolf said then, ‘Ima just gonna blow down your house,’ and the lil piggy iggy was like, ‘Dammit…’ The wolf blew down the house and ate the piggy iggy dead. So wolf went back into where he came from.
Well, the second piggy was makin his house out of twigs cuz he was not as lazy but he was allergic to the bark so everytime he touched a stick he sneezed [b]*insert sneezing noise here*[/b]. Yea, he wasn’t the brightest piggy iggy (dumb pig)…so yea, well the piggy iggy was starting to build his house but you see building the house kinda involves touching the stuff so everytime he started, he sneezed the house down till finally, he held his breath but this piggy forgot in order to live you need to breath so he held his breath till he died to death. He only got three twigs stacked. back to the wolf The wolf thought he should go for a walk to help lose the weight he gained from the first piggy iggy he ate…. While he was walkin he came across the blue piggy iggy. The wolf was like, ‘What the **** is that?’ So the wolf went over there and poked it for a while then left. So while the dead piggy iggy laid there, dead and poked, the third piggy was building his house…

Now this piggy iggy was the smartest and the strongest out of all three…but being the smartest wasn’t really a compliment cuz that’s like sayin’ your smarter than a door so yep…but still he was the smartest. He decided to build his house of hard stuff called bricks, it was oh so smart of him and this piggy tries to be all fancy like and build a fire place and stove (fancy pancy piggy iggy) in his house. So it took the piggy iggy three hours to build his house…yes, only three hours…it’s a damn story…get over it. Well after building his house he got hungry so the piggy iggy killed a cow and made a steak on the fireplace…well, this nice smell caught the attention of the wolf who had eaten his brotha pig all dead so the wolf still hungry for some reason followed the smell with his nose so when he came to the door way he was all like, ‘Can I come in,’ and the piggy iggy answered, ‘Oh hells no, you killed my brotha man that’s not koo,’ and the wolf said, ‘sorry.’ So the piggy iggy let him in…but what the wolf didn’t know is the piggy iggy had a knife behind his back so as soon as the wolf turned his back to smell the steak, the piggy iggy cut the steak to share (haha, tricked you people reading) and they lived happily ever after for about five minutes…then the wolf killed that piggy – so the wolf lived happily ever after…till it got shot by a hunter the next day.

[b]THE END[/b]

[Invader_gir]

roflmao

hehe. the second piggy iggy "died to death" when it held its breath.

funny story, i liked it.

[~Felly~]

Great story,ice! It was funny. Especially the cussing. Oh wait. I'm underage. I'm not supposed to be cussing. Oh well. Great story!

[Sister of Metal]

you should publish this..you know

[Soba]

Hee, Thanks! But it's really Ryan's story, he asked me to post it up around the internet, soooo...

But yeah, if it could be published, I would be the first in line to buy it. A wonderful badly written children's story with no moral spoof.

[Sister of Metal]

read it to all the little kiddies in the world and the psychiatrists have work again

like it! It's the new, improved version of the story!!! i also say u get it published

[HRBEK]

Nice story. Tell him to write something about the Ugly Duckling. I hate that story. Anyway, thanks for putting that here, it was funny!!!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[inter]

lmao, that was great lol

[HRBEK]

You should post another story, that one before was funny (in a stupid way)!!!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Soba]

Oh, I can't write parodies unless I spend a lot of months on it.

I'll talk to Ryan about it, he writes his within an hour.

[Antownee]

rofllmao,that story pwns

[Vipershark]

lol! rofl! lmao! oh man, that was funny! Oh hells no, you killed my brotha man that’s not koo! I almost died to death laughing after reading that. Get this published now!