Get your poem rated.

If one of the moderators or people that are good at poetry you might get your poem rated marks out of 10.
If you made one already post it here againto see if its any good. Im not that good at poetry but i made one up when I was 7. Its kinda stupid and its about school. If you want me Ill tell you it. Id say Liquid Snake is the best at Poetry here so he might rate you I think

[Laguna Loire]

Lol, I would be happy to rate any poems anyone has written...

[[N]eto]

Rate? No. Proper constructive criticism? Yes.

[TK 421]

heres mine

Cut in half like a knife though paper, shattered is my heart
Dreaming, my only escape, escaping from reality and the truth
The truth hurts, hurts like a knife through a shattered heart

Cut to pieces I am, ripped and stolen is my heart, taken without warning
Time may heal, but what wounds? The appearance of the attacker was known
Not knowing how such a little thing can rip you and your heart
My heart and my soul hurts, hurts like a knife through a shattered heart

Fixing is hard, cut these are scars, burns and menacing memories
The past gets you, your faith is sealed and you will never stop it from its hands
Its hands will take you, rip you and shatter you
Rip your skin and shatter your soul like a knife through a shattered heart

My soul, was there, out in the open, ready for taking
Your soul is you, look after your soul as if you lose your soul, you lose yourself


Do not laugh as I am hurt and shattered, shattered like a knife through a shattered heart and a stolen soul

Id give about 8 1/2. Liquid snake might think somethin else

[Laguna Loire]

Hmm...7/10 I'd say mate...It's not too bad, but you use the 'knife through a shattered heart' line a lot. I don't know whether this was done on purpose to create the effect of repetition...If it was done on purpose, then it doesn't work that well because of the length of the poem. Perhaps if it was a little longer, the repetition kinda thing would work better. It's quite good though man, some cool stuff in there...

[PøinŦ Çataclsym]

here goes nuthin

DRAGONS ARE COMING

Flash of claws,
Gleam of teeth.
Trail of death
In their wake

Dragons are coming,
Utter domination.
Dragons are coming,
Death of the earth

The red hint of blood,
The darkness of death.
The domination of dragons
None shall rest

Many warriors come to stand,
All destroyed by the dragon’s hand

Many seek to destroy the source,
All crushed by the dragons force

One warrior stands bold,
Sword in hand, destroys a dragons
Chaotic wrath

The onset of a great battle begins,
Led by the slayer of dragon skins

A war rages on, the death of humanity.
The dragons rule
With an iron-fist

Dragons are coming,
A trail of death.
Dragons are coming,
The earth is gone.

Flash of claws, gleam of teeth
The dragons rest,
But do not sleep….

Now the dragons rule,
All is lost.
They’ve taken away
All we trust

No warrior stands
To fight this threat.
All of us are doomed
To death

A dragon roars,
Its body falls.
A warrior has risen
To fight bloody brawls

A dragons tooth
Is his sword.
A dragon’s scale
Is his shield

He fights the intimidating
Dragons roar,
Destroys them all
Before they soar.

We all return
From the world below,
To see no smoke,
And no dragons alive

This warrior stands
Noble yet even
Today.

The dragons finally rest….

[HRBEK]

I cannot criticise that.............. 10/10!!!

Thanks,
HRBEK.

[Laguna Loire]

Hmm...I'd give it an 8/10. It's very good mate, some cool lines in there, but there are just certain parts in there that don't 'flow' too well when I read it. Lol, maybe it's just the way I read poems, but still, this is my opinion...I do like it though, some very good lines in there, nice one...

Id give it 8. Its huge

[PøinŦ Çataclsym]

wat ever happened to 'bigger is better'?

[[N]eto]

[QUOTE='[DRG] Master']wat ever happened to 'bigger is better'?[/QUOTE]

Not necessarily.

[TK 421]

[QUOTE=Liquid Snake]Hmm...7/10 I'd say mate...It's not too bad, but you use the 'knife through a shattered heart' line a lot. I don't know whether this was done on purpose to create the effect of repetition...If it was done on purpose, then it doesn't work that well because of the length of the poem. Perhaps if it was a little longer, the repetition kinda thing would work better. It's quite good though man, some cool stuff in there...[/QUOTE]
it was dont on purpose...
heres one i made when i was on a roll


#1

You take your life for granted,
I take mine as a punishment,
I am used,
Like a minion and a glove,
A glove for death as that is my objective,
I rip to pieces until you fall, shatter
Until you can’t hold on
I will take you then,
As you are weak
You were always weak and always will be
You are nothingness
I am the glove for death

#2
I am the shadow,
The darkest shadow known to see,
Believe and hear as I walk past you with not a real figure,
As I am the shadow,
The Darkshadow.

[HRBEK]

Easy to take in and well written. 9/10 for that one.

Thanks,
HRBEK.

Same here. Is thats Shadow Dragon or DRG master?