| Achievement | How to unlock
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| A game by Joakim Mogren | So long, and thanks for all the Fish. (Secret)
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| Act of Piety | Follow the light dude!!!
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| Arigato | Takezo's path of revenge has come to an end. (Secret)
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| Better Call Homer | One potato, two potatoes, three potatoes...
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| Caves are dangerous | No pain, no gain!
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| Civil down! | Innocent people aren't big deal for you
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| Diplomacy Wins | Rice War Is Over
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| Don't dead, open inside | Survive the journey across the temple
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| First Miniboss defeated | Now things get interesting
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| Future is Nucular! | The power grid now is safe!
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| I <3 Hearts | Get HassleHeart on Steam now!
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| Lola 'Wasp' Cruz | Lola's mission comes to an end
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| Mazes are fun | Enjoy your journey. (Secret)
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| Mike 'Ghost' Doe | Mike's mission comes to an end
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| No civils killed! | No civil were killed during your missions, well done!
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| Now you stand a chance | G.O.D. boss defeated
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| One shot... | ... to bring peace to the world (Secret)
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| Preacher is wrong | Video games are not evil. (Secret)
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| Snezhok-70 down | Second miniboss defeated
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| Sniper Range | Find the sniper rifle
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| Takezo Doraku | Takezo's Path of Revenge achieved
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| Takezo's Revenge | This story began centuries ago. (Secret)
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| The News | Who controls the media? (Secret)
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| The Tomb of Yoshiaki | Shogun of Takezo Doraku, killed by G.O.D. (Secret)
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| Through the looking glass | You are entering Santa Clara Games headquarters! (Secret)
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| Tic tac, tic tac | Great! You prevented the Bomberman from exploding!
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| Waterfalls always hide treasures | It's dangerous to go alone, take this
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| Who let the dogs out? | Dog watcher defeated
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| Winner | Win one game.
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| You don't stand a chance | What has just happened?
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