| Achievement | How to unlock
|
|---|
| Act 1 | Finish Act 1.
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| Act 2 | Finish Act 2.
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| Bayou Boss | Steer the boat without taking damage.
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| Black Ink of the Mind | Unlock 50% of nodes in the mind map.
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| Bye Bye Brucey | Send Bruce home.
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| Carnival Pig | Give the pig a gift.
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| Cats and Dogs | Launch Crouton with Pots.
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| Class Traitor | Strikebreaker.
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| Congrats | Finish the game.
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| Dim Illumination | Unlock 25% of nodes in the mind map.
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| Ditch Man Dead | Sorry Gooch.
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| Fake Ring | Find Catherine's ring.
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| Family Reunion | Together again.
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| Forget It | Save nothing.
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| Full of Grace | Recite the Hail Mary.
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| Félicette | Blastoff.
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| Garrett Drip | Put on the shirts at the mall.
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| Gatorcase | Find the alligator phone case.
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| HO HO HO | Get downers from Santa Claus.
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| Haunt Your Lonely Days | Read Laura St. Claire's letter.
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| JOY | JOY!!!
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| LeBluggalo | Clown up Leblanc.
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| Like Pawpaw! Like Pawpaw! | Hand over the head.
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| Master of Confusion | Unlock all nodes in the mind map.
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| Metairie Angels | HOOT HOOT.
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| Meter | Get the meter from the researchers.
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| Mister Monkey Man | M-Mister Monkey Man??
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| Network Trouble | Quack might bounce back.
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| Orphan's Knock | Don't get silly with it.
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| Pawpaw's Sprinkle | Tinkle tinkle.
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| Primal Stare | Suffer through Monkey's guilt trip.
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| Showgoer's Tale | Listen to the entirety of Showgoer's Tale.
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| Terminal Network Meltdown | Quack crash.
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| Wet Monkey | No more infinite stare.
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| Will you make it out alive? | Maybe!
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