| Achievement | How to unlock
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|---|
| A Bit Much? | Collect 100,000 XP
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| Abraham Lincoln Cheeseburger Hunter | Kill 25 Sentient Cheeseburgers
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| AI, Shmay-I | Kill 10 Robots
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| Anti Theft Device | Kill a Burglar
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| Armor Piercing | Kill 25 Fat Army Privates
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| AWOOOO! | Kill 10 Werewolves
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| Beware the Fangs | Kill 5 Vampires
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| BEWARE THE GENERAL | Kill The General
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| Big Boss Man | Kill every boss
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| Bindle of Joy | Complete all Hobo Colony levels
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| Blue Belts | Kill 150 Karate Klutz
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| Blue Good, Red Bad | Kill 150 Robots
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| Brainy | Play as every scientist
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| Bushes Clear | Kill 25 Commandos
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| Catch 'Em All! | Play a level as each character
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| Certified Badass | Kill 5,000 monsters
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| Check The Bushes | Kill 5 Commandos
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| Count to 250 | Kill 250 Vampires
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| Cursed Vests | Kill 5 Fat Army Privates
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| Divide By Three | Kill Private Corpsepile
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| Drunk Tank | Kill Zombilly
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| Dumpster Diver | Kill The Turtle
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| Earn Your Whiskers | Kill 500 Werewolves
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| Embarassment of Riches | Collect 25,000 XP
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| Enlightened Peaceful Warrior | Kill 25,000 monsters
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| Exit The Dragon | Kill Beelsteambub
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| Fancy Beast | Kill a Crazy Cat Lady
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| Fire Drill! | Kill 5 Charlies
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| French Connection | Play as both Joan of Arc and Napoleon
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| Girl Power! | Play as every female character
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| Gold Digger | Open 50 chests
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| Heavyweight Champion | Kill Mad Mulligan
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| Hobo Conquerer | Kill 100 Zombie Hobo Warriors
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| I Know Kung-Fu | Kill a Giant Karate Klutz
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| Keep Your Head | Kill an Amazing Head
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| Love Connection | Play both Caesar and Cleopatra
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| Menace to Undead Society | Kill 1,000 monsters
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| Mind Rays Avoided | Kill 25 Zombie Alien Hybrids
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| Monster In The Depths | Kill The Mallrog
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| Mulligan's Not So Merry Men | Kill 5 Zombie Hobo Warriors
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| Newbie | Beat the first level
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| No Dancing! | Kill a Blood Top
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| Nosey Nelly | Open 100 chests
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| Not So Heroic | Play as each of the less reputable Heroes
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| POWER! | Collect 50,000 XP
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| Puke Dodgeball | Kill 25 Fast Food Fatties
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| Queen Slayer | Kill Mama Nibbles
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| Reclaim Trashcalibre... Again | Kill Johnny Hollowlegs
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| Rockin' the Flannel | Kill 100 Werewolves
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| Safe Cracker | Open 10 chests
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| Seriously? | Kill 5 Super Heroes
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| Sight Unzeen | Complete all Bunker levels
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| Spice of Life | Kill one of each specialty monster
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| Stake It | Kill 50 Vampires
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| Survived The Lists | Kill 25 Roach Knights
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| That Burger's Got Bite | Kill A Sentient Cheeseburger
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| That The Best You Can Do? | Collect 1,000 XP
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| The Doctor Is Out | Kill Dr. Neirzeit
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| The Princess Won't Approve | Kill The Walrus
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| The Shopping Maul | Complete all Mall levels
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| There's Aliens In This Game? | Kill 50 Nibbles
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| Tricking 'Em Out | Collect 10,000 XP
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| Up Close And Personal | Play as each melee character
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| Use Your Arms! | Kill 20 Karate Klutz
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| Victory is Mine! | Kill W.A.R.D.
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| Watch Out For Colons | Kill 10 Body Parts
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| Welcome to the Gun Show | Collect 5,000 XP
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| WOO WOO WOO | Kill 5 Goats
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| Written by the Victors | Complete every level in the game
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| You're A Machine! | Kill 10,000 monsters
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| You're Getting the Hang of It! | Kill 50 monsters
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| You're Strong. We Get It! | Collect 200,000 XP
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| Zombie Hunter | Kill 500 monsters
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